Grateful for Tender Mercies of the Lord

While I was taking down my Christmas tree I was watching or listening to movies and their music.
I often need a movie or music in the background to keep me going (if I'm not studying seminary lessons).

I started with Moana - it has some fun music.

I watched the most recent Beauty and the Beast.  Some of the music in these movies are just fun, and others have lyrics that inspire.  Great listening!

[Verse 1]

How does a moment last forever?

How can a story never die?

It is love we must hold onto

Never easy, but we try

Sometimes our happiness is captured

Somehow, our time and place stand still

Love lives on inside our hearts and always will

[Chorus]

Minutes turn to hours, days to years then gone

But when all else has been forgotten

Still our song lives on

[Verse 2]

Maybe some moments weren’t so perfect

Maybe some memories not so sweet

But we have to know some bad times

Or our lives are incomplete

Then when the shadows overtake us

Just when we feel all hope is gone

We’ll hear our song and know once more

Our love lives on

[Verse 3]

How does a moment last forever?

How does our happiness endure?

Through the darkest of our troubles

Love is beauty, love is pure

Love pays no mind to desolation

It flows like a river through the soul

Protects, persists, and perseveres

And makes us whole

[Chorus]

Minutes turn to hours, days to years then gone

But when all else has been forgotten

Still our song lives on

How does a moment last forever
When our song lives on

~ ~ ~

November and December are wonderful times of the year when we have holidays that help us remember the important things in life.    I feel blessed to have my darkest, most sorrowful moment (that of my husband passing away) be surrounded by these two holidays - Thanksgiving and Christmas - because it helps me, or almost makes me feel the love of God.

Still it is a solemn time of year for me and in the background of this wonderful time of year there is sorrow.  I am so grateful that even with that deep sorrow, there is still a great amount of joy - knowing that we have been promised to each other for eternity.  I do have much to look forward to. I know I sound wishy-washy but it really is a back and forth time of year for me.


With the mixed emotions I certainly had while taking the lights off my tree I heard something on Beauty and the Beast that pierced my heart.

It was while Belle and her father were in the dungeon with the beast, and Belle offered to stay there forever if the beast would let her father go free.

She was asking for a minute to say good-bye before her father was released and the beast didn't seem to think it was necessary.  Belle didn't give up, and replied;

"FOREVER CAN SPARE A MINUTE"

Wow!  I need to remember this!
Our time on earth is but a moment compared to our Heavenly Father's time - eternity.  So every suffering or sorrow we endure here on earth is but a minute to Him and we can endure it with His help.

In seminary we are studying the stories about Alma and Amulek (including, but not limited to Alma 14) and this quote, FOREVER CAN SPARE A MINUTE, is perfect - reminding us that any trial on earth, even all of our time on earth, is but a minute and we must continue in faith, with patience and hope of the blessings we will receive in eternity.

I was the one who had it all

I was the master of my fate

I never needed anybody in my life

I learned the truth too late

I'll never shake away the pain

I close my eyes but she's still there

I let her steal into my melancholy heart

It's more than I can bear

Now I know she'll never leave me

Even as she runs away

She will still torment me

Calm me, hurt me

Move me, come what may

Wasting in my lonely tower

Waiting by an open door

I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in

And be with me for evermore

I rage against the trials of love

I curse the fading of the light

Though she's already flown so far beyond my reach

She's never out of sight

Now I know she'll never leave me

Even as she fades from view

She will still inspire me

Be a part of everything I do

Wasting in my lonely tower

Waiting by an open door

I'll fool myself, she'll walk right in

And as the long, long nights begin

I'll think of all that might have been

Waiting here for evermore

~ ~ ~

Such a long post to say what I felt, and I'm not sure I've done it justice.  I'll just say - I am so grateful for tender mercies of the Lord to remind me of the important things in life and encourage me to move forward in faith.

Sometimes simple phrases in songs or movies can encourage and uplift and enlighten. They are a reminder to the heart, mind, and soul that all is or will be well, in the Lords time.



And I'll add one last song - by Josh Groban, I Believe

10 December 2015

It's been one year since Terry passed away and I miss him terribly..., but I'm Fine!

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.

I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.

All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is a keepsake from which I'll never part.

God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

I prayed that I would be okay, and I continually tried to reassure myself that the Lord has been strengthening me these past six months and that I can do this.  I know it's true!

I wanted to celebrate and recall the great memories of our first 35 years and not dwell on the memories of being without him during this last year, nor dread the next however many years I have to live without him - because it's just too hard on a soul to be sad every second of the day.

I woke up Thursday morning with a peaceful feeling and felt that my day was going to be okay.

image from here

I went to teach seminary almost like it was any other day..., but I had a back up plan ready to set in motion if needed. (Thanks to a great friend that was ready and willing to prepare just in case, and then come take my place if my emotions got the best of me.)

I got to seminary and was surprised to see three students there early before I even entered the classroom, so I could sense a difference but didn't pay much attention to anything else except finding a place to put the things piled in my arms.

I noticed my lectern at one side of the room.  It had a plate of cookies and little hearts scattered around with encouraging words written on each. It immediately brought joy to my heart and tears to my eyes.

Awesomeness!  This is the plate of cookies and the hearts that were scattered around the table top

I then knew why the girls had come early and gratitude filled my whole soul.  I felt of their love, and put my things down on a table and went back to give them a hug.

Then they started to explain a few things and tell me more about it and that is when I noticed the rest of the room.  I felt silly for not having noticed it first, but my mind and eyes were on other things as I entered the room.  There was another "heart attack" on the white board, with notes from my students.

It was a beautiful sight to behold - beautiful to my eyes and to my heart and soul.  Of course my emotions surfaced again ...,

and again, when one of the boys walked in with this lovely arrangement.

I was able to teach that day and at the end of class I had a little cup of almond m&ms for each of them and asked them to give me a handshake or hug as they left, if they felt comfortable.  I have awesome students!   I am grateful for each one of them.  I love them!  I am grateful that God gave them to me.


I continued to feel a special spirit throughout the day.  I wished I could decipher whether that spirit was from Terry or from the Savior.  Then something special happened that afternoon and I knew that it was Terry that was with me, because immediately an impression came to me that was him talking to me in his familiar tone of voice and with words that he would have used, and my mind then knew what my heart had been feeling.  I was grateful to know he was with me.

Later that day as I was talking about that experience I realized that it really is awesome that I don't always know if it is Terry or the Spirit of the Lord with me, and that just means they are similar enough to each other that I cannot tell them apart.

I must certainly make sure my actions here on earth will make me the person that Terry wants back when the time comes.

In addition to this love shown at seminary, I received texts and phone calls and emails and visits that
kept me busy all day.  I am grateful for family and friends.  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers on my behalf (and for my family too).

It certainly has been a difficult year ...,

image from here 

but it has included some special times that I will treasure.

I am not grateful that Terry left this earth life when he did, but I am grateful for our Savior and Heavenly Father who have proven that They are aware of me, my family and the situation They placed us in.  Sometimes I feel lost, but I am very aware of the fact that I am / We are not alone.

image from here 

This day was a tender mercy!

Sweet Moment

This morning was like several of the last few mornings, but a bit more chill in the air.  I had made plans to be gone early this morning, but those plans were changed last night as I contemplated my day and week ahead.  So that left me home to view this sweet moment in time.

I looked out the kitchen window to this tree we just planted and found a friend.  I have enjoyed having that tree there and watching it daily as I stand at the sink.  It is where my eyes focus while I'm looking out that window, and this morning it was delightful to see this little bunny enjoying it too.  It brought a smile to my face and heart that felt so good.

can you see the rabbit under the tree?

There is something joyful about seeing these little creatures (even if they do destroy a garden in no time) and I love to see them whenever they are brave and decide to show themselves (especially since there is no garden to destroy at the moment).

The sky was pretty too, and it wasn't long before the sun came through the window as I was sitting back at the table taking care of some paper work.  It is a beautiful morning!  I love beautiful mornings!

I hope you are having a beautiful morning too.

The Drivers Seat

I can only recall one time being in the drivers seat since driving Terry to Wenatchee on Tuesday morning (the 9th) and that was the next day to take Anthony into the school to get his car.  

The boys have been driving me wherever I needed to go and I was "numb" enough to let it happen without concern, and I even knew it was for the best because I wasn't sure I could function well enough to drive safely.  

But then one day I noticed I was feeling quite unnerved at not being behind the wheel and decided it was time to take my place in the drivers seat again (where I had been for many years).   So our trip to Idaho was all mine.  We made some well timed rest stops and played some music and ate some snacks to help with the long drive.   

I remember when I started driving everywhere after Terry started his first chemo treatments.  I reminded myself of my grandmother who drove everywhere she and grandpa went.  Her reason for driving (if I have my information correct) was because she was just too nervous when grandpa drove. My reason to start driving was for a different reason, but after I started driving so much of the time I began to feel uncomfortable when others drove.  That uncomfortable feeling left me for a couple weeks but it has returned and I found myself hogging' the wheel. 

I needed that!

It is one of those things about me that I need to have as a constant in my day to day life.  With so much around me and about me changing I feel the need to not let everything change in every way. 

It makes me feel like I might start mending one little particle at a time. There will always be a part of me missing, but I hope in time that will make me stronger, rather than weaker ..., because I want eternity.   I look forward to it.

I love my Savior and I can feel my Savior's love ..., 

"He will not always take your afflictions from you, 

but He will comfort and lead you with love through whatever storm you face."  

- Thomas S. Monson

and I love my husband and I still feel my husbands love for me ..., 

Oh! ..., and ...

It felt good to feel good to be home.  Strange feeling!   A tender mercy / small miracle!

A Place

His Heart ... My Heart!

I love it when I receive tender mercies in the middle of what seems like an ordinary day.
There was nothing special about this day and I was just sitting in the congregation singing the hymn, God Loved Us, So He Sent His Son (#187), when the words in the last verse stood out to me and touched my heart.

vs 3
"Oh, Love effulgent, love divine!  What debt of gratitude is mine, That in his off'ring I have part And hold a place within his heart."

I HOLD A PLACE WITHIN HIS HEART!

This isn't new revelation to me - it's something I've known before - but today it just touched me in a tender way, and I am grateful for it.  

Indeed, He holds a place within my heart!  

This was first published at  http://waitingpatientlyonthelord.blogspot.com/2014/08/his-heart-my-heart.html

Hope

A second tender mercy in the same day.  This came as I was reading PMG in preparation to writing to my missionary son.  It was the first thing I read and then the last, because my heart received the message it needed.

"Hope is an abiding trust that the Lord will fulfill His promises to you.  It is manifest in confidence, optimism, enthusiasm, and patient perseverance.  It is believing and expecting that something will occur.  When you have hope, you work through trials and difficulties with the confidence and assurance that all things will work together for your good.  Hope helps you conquer discouragement." (Preach My Gospel p117)


I love Hope! I believe that paragraph ... I know it is true!  I am grateful for a loving Father in Heaven and Savior, Jesus Christ.  I feel blessed! 

There are many things in life that can discourage us and indeed there have been in my life lately, and they have hit me hard lately, but I must remember to HOPE for better days ahead and remember that it will most likely "turn out better than I think".  (see also here)

This was first published at  http://waitingpatientlyonthelord.blogspot.com/2014/08/hope.html