"male and female created he them"

Happy Fathers Day!

I read through the May 2015 Ensign through the month of May and enjoyed every message.  As I read a message given at the General Conference Priesthood Session

Fatherhood, Our Eternal Destiny by Larry M. Gibson

I felt the goodness of it and decided to write a post - and post dated it for Father's Day.

I enjoyed reading it and thought of my father, my husband, and my sons.  This one sentence touched my heart.

"I love being a husband and father - married to a chosen daughter of heavenly parents.  I love her.  It is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life."   

Immediately after reading that line (and hoping that Terry could say that of me) I changed one thing with that sentence - from male to female because it echoed my sentiments as to how I feel about my position in life.

I love being a wife and mother - married to a chosen son of heavenly parents.  I love him.  It is one of the most fulfilling parts of my life.  

We cannot celebrate Father's Day the same as we have the past 34 years, but we can remember the good times.  It is awesome to have good times to remember.

My thoughts continued - We cannot celebrate Father's Day without mothers and we cannot celebrate Mother's Day without fathers.  There just cannot be one without the other.  Adam may have been created first, but Eve was placed at his side and when they became father and mother it was side by side at the exact same time. One could not be without the other.  That's just the way it is.  That's just the way our Father in Heaven, and I might add, our Savior, Jesus Christ, wanted and planned and created it.  "And, behold, it was very good." (Genesis 1:31)

I am grateful for my earthly father.  You can learn a little about him here.  I am grateful for his many years of love and sacrifice on my behalf, his guidance and counsel, his example of all things good, for his testimony and his faith in Christ. I'm grateful that he is my father. I love him!

I am grateful for my husband, who became the father of our children.  I am grateful for everything about him.  I am grateful that he found me and loved me and wanted me to be at his side always and forever, and lived a life that would allow that to happen.  He is a good man. I love him!

This image is from a poem book I created for him eight years ago.  The image includes words I put together for Terry for our anniversary ten years ago, that tried to share how I felt about him.  They help one see the man Terry was and is, but it is not complete.

One of our sons started a list of thoughtful words that others have used to describe Terry from the cards and comments since his passing.  I have tried to continue to add to it as things continued to come in. As I read through them I feel grateful for him and that others saw him as the good man he was.  I am so anxious to see what he is becoming still.  I look forward to that day with great joy and anticipation.

Some of these were said word for word by more than one, but not listed here more than once. 
·       Pleasure to talk to
·       Great neighbor
·       Wonderful man in our community
·       A great example
·       Endure trial with a positive attitude and stay the same purpose
·       Awesome person
·       Good influence
·       Always close to the spirit
·       Confident in his faith
·       Humbly followed the Savior and His servants
·       Steadiness and constant faith
·       A great man
·       So kind, gentle and humble
·       Full of love
·       Righteous example
·       Always willing to share his testimony
·       Quiet confidence and kindness
·       Always had a smile no matter what he was going through.
·       Very caring man
·       Easy going spirit
·       Friendly disposition
·       Competed hard, always put the team first
·       Inspiration to his teammates and coaches
·       Reflective, intelligent person with solid priorities
·       Quiet, compassionate, loving soul
·       Quiet natured generosity and kindness
·       Valiant spirit
·       No finer man than Terry
·       Such a good man. They don’t come any finer.
·       Incredible beacon of light
·       Sweet smile and sweeter spirit
·       Honorable man, a man to be remembered.  Always had a big heart and good soul.
·       Good man with a good family
·       Very good spirit and soul
·       Good man, wise man, good friend
·       Handsome, wonderful man
·       Gentle and soft.  A man of not many words, but was a poet.  He thought before he spoke and spoke with economy of words in manly way.
·       Courage, strength, faithfulness and endurance
·       Exemplary father and great example of a faith filled life
·       Intense inquisitiveness and compassion.  Quiet yet intense concern for and about others was one of his great strengths.  Wonderful friend and example.
·       Generous and kind
·       An example of what is good and right
·       Wonderful, inspiring man

I am grateful for the years Terry and I had together.  And behold, it was very good!

I am grateful for my 8 sons.  My desire for these sons is that they recognize their eternal destiny and fulfill it well.  I am grateful for the men they are becoming.  We spend a life time becoming, and it doesn't end there.  Improvement and progression is one eternal round.  Each of us has a divine nature.  Wonderful isn't it!

There is a young man out there somewhere that will join our family someday, becoming our only son in law, and I am grateful for him, even though I do not know him at this time.  Most likely BrittanyJo has not yet met him, but he is out there and I pray for him, that he will be the husband and father and son of God that God intends him to be, strong and steadfast in the gospel of Jesus Christ.

I am grateful for good men everywhere - Our Prophet, our Bishop, Priesthood leaders that have blessed our lives and help us become who we are today and encourage us to become better.  Friends and neighbors who share and serve and spread love and kindness.

I am grateful for our loving Heavenly Father.  He and His Beloved Son are One in purpose and together They know me, They love me, They help me, They guide me, They comfort me ...   I love Them!  They make this life so very good!

You will be alright!

I was reading through the book my mom and dad gave me (about Terry's health journey) and wanted to write down a quote I had posted 4/22/2014 

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow,

it empties today of its strength.”

― Corrie Ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook

and an experience I posted 5/21/2014.

"As I was sitting in the infusion room yesterday I tried to recall my prayers and if I had felt any real answers to them.  I couldn't recall specific times that I had heard or felt a specific answer, but my mind immediately received an answer telling me that He [our Savior] promises to be with me.  That is what I need.  I need my Saviors love and I need Him every hour!

And, I'm grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves us and hears and answers our prayers, even on His own time and in His own way.  He can make me strong."  

I was grateful to re-read that and to remember that I have been given many spiritual reminders that let me know that my Savior loves me.  

I also re-read that Terry knew the same thing -  I wrote this on 5/6/2014 while he was in the hospital last spring.

"As we were talking this morning he [Terry] remembered a special moment years ago after being diagnosed with this disease when the Lord told him - "I know you, I love you, and you will be alright!"

I know he is alright and that makes me happy.  I am just so grateful that we have had these witnesses in the past (and present) to let me know that I am going to be alright too.

I opened my planner to write down the quotes and thoughts I had just read and I found a couple notes that I had written in my planner earlier this week.  I had forgotten them until now and decided to get up and post about it.  

I went to Wenatchee for an appointment with the Social Security. I went early enough to take care of a couple other things and while at the counter of one business, giving personal information, the lady asked me "are you married?"  I hadn't been asked that since Terry passed away and it kinda caught me off guard.  How do I answer that?  

I knew she could see Terry's name on her screen and that he was my husband, and in my mind I am still married, and in the Lord's plan I am still married, but to them, I am not, so my answer came in a way of explanation as I informed her that Terry is my husband but he passed away in December.  She then put me on a new account, because Terry's account was no longer valid.   

I understood and wasn't too emotional about it.  It really is a fact of life right now that I am trying hard to deal with, and I had already emotionally lost it once this week (or last week) over a silly little thing someone said during testimony meeting in my mom and dad's ward last Sunday. (Yes, I felt rather foolish - all he said was that he was 91 years old today ... lucky guy huh! However, I know he lost his wife a few years ago ... not so lucky guy!)

Okay, next appointment was at the SS office and as I was answering questions they asked if our marriage ended at death.  What?  Again, I know the answer is NO!  Our marriage has not ended and I am so looking forward to eternity with my husband.  I am so grateful for Heavenly Father's plan, for our Savior's sacrifice, and for the priesthood and temple blessings that make this a fact. I am striving to be worthy of those blessings and promises.  

Well, I answered yes because I realize that they needed to differentiate that it was death and not divorce, and I know that our bodies did part at death, but they are wrong - our marriage did not end with that parting.  

I am pleased to say that I was emotionally stable through that too. I don't know why I was so emotional about that 91 year old, except that the man who spoke before this 91 year old man shared such a powerful testimony about his belief and faith in Christ - it was exactly what I was feeling which made me emotional already, so this one little phrase just set me off. I can't imagine what everyone around me was thinking, especially those on the stand who could see me so clearly.  It was a bit embarrassing. 

I'm okay!  

I'm okay!  ;/

I really am!  :)

It's a good feeling!

Thank you for your prayers!

   

FYI - Funeral Additions

We had been hoping to get a family photo with all of us together and we just couldn't make it happen in time for Terry to be with us, but here we are on the day of his funeral, and I was happy to have all of our children and grandchildren together there.  Surely one can look at any of our sons and find their dad in them somewhere.  In many ways Terry lives on, but we still miss him.

I am so grateful for eternal life and the plan of happiness.  

I want it!  I need it!  I'm looking forward to it!

I am so grateful for the Savior and our Heavenly Father and for the many blessings They send my way.  They sustain me throughout the days and nights.  They make things alright.

  

I love our eternal family! 

Michael's poem was added to the blog here

The life sketch Thomas gave was added here

Poem by Michael

Michael wrote this masterpiece the day we got home from the hospital after Terry passed away.  I was in the same room with Michael as this thought process began and I saw his expression change and he got up and got a piece of paper and a pencil and went to the table and began writing.  After he completed it he gave it to me and I read it and kept it close at heart.
When it came time to plan the funeral program I asked Michael to share his poem with us all.   Everyone was so impressed and grateful for this poem and the truths it testifies of, and several noticed that we could hear Terry's words there too - recognizing that this poem was very likely inspired by him.  
We knew Michael had to share it in the program and I now share it here for a reminder whenever we need it in the future.

This poem dedicated to Terry Wayne Hebdon

Written on the day that he’s gone to heaven.

He passed in the morning of December’s day 10

Though we may fret we will see him again.

His greatest and dearest possessions in life

Are his farm, his faith, his family, but mostly his wife.

A father to 9, a brother to all

Trained to rescue whomever did fall.

A presider, a provider, a protector of family.

He loved his life and lived it happily.

“I am fine” he would say, though lately his body would sway.

He taught through example, followed the Savior’s way

We still hear his voice echoing through the house

“Get up, get dressed, get going” he would daily announce.

A captain in suffering, a saint when in pain

A decision he had made again and again.

It made him a much better person you see.

Like that one who suffered with him in Gethsemane

And with that miracle so noble, so true

He claims us His, both me and you.

So on this day Terry’s lowered in the grave

Be of good cheer, Christ is mighty to save.

At those white gates he patiently waits

His arms spread out wide, his Savior by his side.

By Michael James Hebdon   10 Dec. 2014

Christ-like Characteristics

This is the talk given by Gregory at Terry's funeral (of course things may have been said slightly different when he actually gave it, but these were his thoughts when he wrote it) -

Life - What is its purpose?  Are we a coincidental evolution following a strange growth in a scum pond or a reaction from a serendipitous cosmic collision?

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we are taught, following a Christian tradition, that we existed as spirits before our mortal birth.  We come to earth in a probationary state.  We are given commandments and agency.  Our decisions to follow commandments bring us blessings, and our rebellions cause negative consequences and heartache.

It is our duty to try to become better people, and earn a place in Heaven with a loving God.

How are we supposed to learn these things?  How can we grow?  God gave us tools.  We have scriptures, prophets, a conscience or the Holy Ghost, a Savior who provided a perfect example for us, and one other gift.  God gave us fathers.  It is one thing to read about a person, and another to live with and interact with someone; to be able to watch them as you grow up.

We on the Royal Slope, and especially Terry and Elaine’s children have had a wonderful example to look to and strive to emulate.  He provided a great example-though not perfect as our Savior’s.  I don’t want to sound blasphemous-but an example of how a mortal man can work to become more like Christ.  After all, my Dad is my Hero.  In the LDS church we call these characteristics Christ-like attributes. 

The manual called Preach My Gospel has a list of Christ-like attributes.  I would like to put a twist on them, add some others, and submit to you my version of Dad-like attributes.

The manual starts off with the ever important trait of faith in Jesus Christ.  The poem written by Dad included on the bulletin shows that he absolutely did have faith in our Savior.

Next is hope.  Dad never gave in to despair as he digressed in his fight against cancer.  He kept a good attitude when things looked so bleak.  He hoped for a positive outcome in this life, and if he couldn't get that, then a better state in the world beyond.

Then we find charity and love.  I think of a winter when a family on the slope lost their home to a fire, and Dad gathered us to explain that he wanted our consent to fore-go some Christmas gifts and donate some money to this family after their great loss.  We didn't have much but we had enough to help someone in need.  Dad also had a tender way of lifting up the homeless on the streets, sometimes with food or money, and if that wasn't available he would offer a friendly conversation to cheer someone up.  He also made many visits to friends and neighbors in times of sorrow or need.  And now in our time of sorrow we have had many people reciprocate that demonstration of love and compassion, and we thank you all for that.

Virtue follows; and when I think of Dad I think of Honor.  He didn't have a church self and a farm self and a different personality for different situations.  What you saw was who he was.  If he said he would do something, he would do it.  I would liken it to dignity, which was very important to Dad. 

Next is knowledge.  Many of you might not know this but Dad used to read the dictionary.  He would read papers, books, magazines, anything to increase his knowledge.  In school he had near perfect attendance.  Mom has some report cards showing that Dad missed one day of school in four years.  He also urged us to continue our education beyond high school, and made it a priority of his to help us get through it financially as he was not able to do on his own, due to his duties here.  Much of his knowledge and mental capacity is showcased in his poems over the years, always written for the benefit of others and not for his own gain.

Now in the spirit of honesty, I will not gloss over the next attribute.  When Dad asked me to speak at his funeral he told me to tell the truth.  Patience is possibly the one that gave him the most trouble.  Especially in the eyes of our family it seemed like he had more patience with others than with us.  But I don’t hold a grudge about it.  I am glad for what it taught me.  Dad always expected a lot out of us, but only because he knew our potential and wanted us to stretch and reach it.  He would not settle for a part time attitude or less than our best.  Now, continuing with truth, he gained much more patience as he dealt with his trial of cancer.  Anger pretty much vanished. 

That leads to humility.  Dad had an often quiet strength.  He never aspired to positions of high rank or recognition.  He felt that he was not good enough to have them, while many others would have gladly recommended him.  He esteemed himself much lower than the high regard that the rest of us hold for him.  He was also mistreated occasionally in deals with business associates and others which hurt him both financially and emotionally, but he remained polite to them and did not hold a grudge with anyone, no matter what had happened.

Dad was diligent.  He would not give up no matter the difficulty of the task, and rarely complained.

Obedience follows. . . Do you see what I did there?  Dad always enjoyed a pun.  He accepted every assignment given to him at church, even when he didn't feel like he was prepared, or the best one for the job, or even when it put him in danger.  He was asked to be the early morning seminary teacher, and it caused a great deal of strain on his body, but he didn't worry about his health.  He focused on obeying, and helping those youth.  And more than a couple of those kids will tell you that he left a lasting impression in their lives for the better.

Dad always showed a willingness to serve others.  From helping people move, to plowing snow, to many other things, he wanted to help others when he could, and looked for opportunities.  When he was young he was often found pushing the wheel chair for his friend Cruz.  He wanted to help, and didn't want Cruz to miss out.  He was very considerate of the needs of others.  That was another thing that he tried to instill in us.  He tried to help us learn to think of how our choices affected others and act accordingly.  He often asked us to spell considerate, and define it for him so that it would be ingrained in our minds.

He had a positive attitude.  He found joy in life, even small things like stacking the last load of hay for the cutting.  He had a sense of humor.  He enjoyed sharing a chuckle with someone or giving them a reason to smile.  He didn't share the loud jokes like, “a rabbi, a cardinal and a Mormon bishop walk into a bar,” type, but a clever response or a play on words.  He liked to make people happy.

Now, for me, comes the crowning piece, the traits that I think he most fully embodied.  Dad believed in industry, and provident living.  He was not afraid of hard work, but actually enjoyed it.  He lived frugally, not wasting any money on his own desires but spent all of his energy providing for his family.  I do not know of a time that our needs were not met.  Even if it meant that he slept for only two hours a night, and ate only one meal a day, he made sure that we were fed and healthy.  We know him lovingly as “Terry Tough.”  He attacked any weakness in himself like a lion.  He saved tenaciously and prepared for the future.  And now as he has lost his ability to work and earn more money to support his family, his preparation will continue to provide for his wife and family.

And so I say as the prophet Nephi said in the Book of Mormon, “I, Gregory, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father . . . having had a great knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God.”  He taught us in words, but more importantly he taught us by his actions.

The morning after Dad passed away Thomas and I expressed our sorrow that our kids, his grandchildren, wouldn't have their grandpa around as they grew up.  All that they would miss from not interacting with this great man tore us apart.

I submit to all today that it is our duty to carry on that legacy.  We who are his sons, as well as all others who admire him are asked to strive to develop those attributes that we have respected and admired.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said that a “father sees in a son a promising future and a better, improved version of himself.”  I don’t feel like I will ever reach the standard he set, but I recommit today, to step up and do my best to fill those shoes as much as I can.  And I think that is all Dad and our Heavenly Father, the two now being together, would want from any of us:  Our Best.

Terry Hebdon Life Sketch

Life sketch, given by Thomas -

How do you put into words the events in a man’s life that made him who he is? I have tried to read more of dads early life’s stories, look through his photo albums, and get input from many who knew him. I didn’t want this to be my life sketch of dad, but his life sketch from others. I’m not eloquent like he, nor do I share his ability with words. I do however want to share some experiences from our family to combine what you all know of him with a few things you may not know so we can paint the true picture of “One Good Man.”

            Keith Auger and Idris Egbert Hebdon moved from Idaho to Washington to pursue the farming lifestyle they desired. They had purchased property in Royal City but the land did not yet have water to it, so they settled in Quincy for a time. Dad was born in Ephrata on July 16, 1957, while the family lived in Quincy, the fifth of seven children.

            The family lived in a small camper trailer till they were able to build a home. Dad remembers carrying nails and boards as they built this home, which as you may know, the walls were built with 2x4s stacked on top of each other.

            He talked about the early process of taming the land and the lack of amenities that we now enjoy like running water. He remembers bathing in the canal near the home and at a young age changing siphon tubes. Fixing holes in the dirt ditches and changing water which was always a family affair. Later up grading to hand lines and to pumps to wheel lines and eventually circles. He remembers when the family bought a harobed, which was one of the first in the area, and as kids they ran in front of it turning flat bales on edge as Dennis would pick them up. These experiences along with many others taught dad how to Work, and the importance of it.

            Dad learned the importance of Sharing and Spending Wisely as, during the difficult years, the activities of daily life were centered around the basic necessities of the family.

            Dad was “born of goodly parents who loved the Lord” who taught the importance of Church Service and Missionary Work. I found in his photo album many certificates for participation in church activities such as boy scouts and the young men’s organization which show his desire to follow those teachings. From 1976-1978 he served a mission in Barcelona Spain. This was not the first of his serving opportunities nor the last but was one that we, as his children, know he cherished. We know it provided a broad range of experiences that helped shape him as a man, a father, husband, brother, teacher, friend and cook. He would often make Spanish tortillas for breakfast and taught us simple Spanish words occasionally at the dinner table like leche and sandia and agua, allowing us to share in the excitement of his experiences and sharing in his own way his testimony of the work.

            After returning from his mission, dad continued his life like most returned missionaries, attending firesides and activities, getting to know new people. In June of 1979 at a young adult dance dad met Elaine Rodeback a beautiful young woman. They danced, then went on their own ways after. The next day at a fireside, dad asked mom again to accompany him to an activity in Kennewick, she was pleased to accept the invitation. It didn’t take long for mom and dad to recognize something special in each other and they knew they wanted to continue with courtship.

            Mom, in her teenage years, had developed a “mental list of qualities” her future husband must posses, qualities like Tall, Dark, and Handsome, Kind, Humble, Knowledgeable, Thoughtful and has a sense of Humor.

Dad, in his life up until this moment, must have been developing those qualities in himself. Because when they met, he fit the mold.

            I don’t know if dad had a list for mom, I never found one in his journal but I did find a couple pages of notes and drafts of this poem he sent to mom. And how can you give dad’s life sketch without a poem or two? This poem was the first that mom knew dad to write. It was a strength to her then, and as you blog followers may know, it has been a strength since. He wrote:

            My heart is full

            It can not write

            And so my hand

            Picks up the plight

            To express to you

            My love and care

            And thank you most

            For being there

            For permitting my acquaintance

            With you to grow

            And become a love

            that’s true we know

            A thing that thrives

            When we’re together

            A bonding force

            For worse or better

           

            An emotion that

            One day may be

            A light far off

            That we can see

            Which guides us both

            In our trek together

            Bringing sunshine

            In stormy weather

            That utopia we both

            Must strive to find

            Through tenderness

            And being kind

            Now let it be said

            Before I’m through

            Elaine, my dearest

            I do love you!

            What else needs to be said after receiving a poem like that? A couple more months of courtship led to their marriage on February 12, 1980 in the Idaho Falls Temple. Where they vowed to continue on life’s journey together. To continue to check off many more “mental list qualities” as he became her Best Friend, Loving Husband, Great Father, Great Example and Hard Worker, along with many others.      I know he succeeded! I have seen it, I know many of you have seen these qualities expressed through his actions and words.

            Often times at home, we have joked about the older children growing up with a different dad than the younger children. Life definitely threw us a curveball that changed the game a little, but I know the younger children still saw these qualities. We saw tributes on face book from BrittanyJo and Chase and others that prove this.  Dad never changed who he was. He grew up in a time when your word was your bond, and a handshake was a contract. He never changed that either, even when the world lowered its standards. He taught us to be the same, by his example and we all can agree that he is our Hero!

            He also taught us to work hard, that it was possible to do hard things. He taught us, “early to bed, early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise.” To “get up, get dressed, and get going.” He would quote the film Bambi “If at first you don’t succeed, try try again.” Taught us to do our best in every task we faced. To not be afraid of the unknown or cower from a challenge, that “he had signed up for this”. He was resourceful, he built furniture pieces, some out of left over lumber from our house and some out of scrap metal from the shop. It seemed he could repair anything we could break, maybe not the conventional way but he would figure it out. He overhauled an engine learning as he went, being meticulous and attentive as he tore it apart so he could correctly put it back together. Whatever the task he worked till the job was done.

            He has always took pride in his accomplishments while striving to maintain humility. He encouraged us to take “pride in ownership” no matter the condition. As life has gone on his perspectives have changed a bit. He has been able to achieve many of his business goals:   
            Work hard to get out of debt

            Build an adequate home and provide for family

            Become self reliant/dependent/sustaining

He also shifted more focus to personal/family goals

            #1 raise family in gospel-have joy in posterity

            Attend graduations from HS and College

            All boys serve missions

            Attend all Temple Marriages

Some of these are nearing completion, while others have a way to go still. But I know his passing will not stop him from fulfilling these remaining goals, even though he cannot do so in person.

            I will always remember, as Akleigh calls them, the Seadattle trips while dad was receiving transplants. How we were able to spend Christmas together,  ride the ducks, go  to the zoo or the aquarium, and visit Pikes Place Market. Last year we enjoyed finding and counting the 12^th man flags, a tradition we didn’t know would keep going where ever we go.

             I remember seeing his compassion towards others as they too were receiving treatments and facing life’s trials. Sharing the gospel with many and love with all. Telling about the different sleeves made by BrittanyJo and Ellen and sharing them with others.

            The different stories from his life as he and I worked together for the past few years. Stories that weren’t momentous in many ways but still brought us closer together. In trying to come up with a few things to share about dad, I asked a few of my siblings if they had anything they thought should be said. Through a lot of the ensuing small talk a common thread was the way they enjoyed being able to spend time with him in different ways. Dad was fun to be around and to learn from. There are many more experiences I could share and I’m sure you have some of your own too.

            I am grateful for the time we got to spend together. For his unwavering and unshaken faith and positive outlook in his life that seemed to be a lot like the weather outside today. For being the rock I needed at times in my life when I was walking through sand and needed a solid place to stand. May we never forget Dad’s life, nor the life of whom he followed.

            I feel a little like my speaking today has gone against one of dad’s other sayings. “Of all the things that come to your head, only 10% of them should be said.” I may be around 15% now, so I will finish with a poem from my Aunt Shawna,

            The sofa is covered with children,

                        But it is empty too.

            The room is lit and glowing,

                        But it is empty too.

            The lady bug bucket is missing,

                        I’m sure it’s empty too.

            But life goes on forever, we know,

                        Because of the empty tomb.

I love you, Dad!

-----

Now a note from Elaine:
The lady bug bucket is just a cute bucket I had at the house when Terry needed it.  If you had visited the last month or two of his life you probably saw it sitting on the sofa, table, or floor beside him.

It was cuter than a garbage can or big plastic bowl, and it became his "spittoon" so to speak.  He would use it to spit in, throw up in, or just put garbage in.  He sometimes referred to it as his "ladybugget".

In Loving Memory of One Good Man - Terry Wayne Hebdon

Terry Wayne Hebdon

We had a beautiful day dedicated to celebrating the life of Terry Wayne Hebdon and by the end of the day I was so overcome with gratitude for the many tender mercies that came our way and my heart was full of love for all who participated in any way to help make that day a special day for Terry and for his loved ones.  It truly was a special day, and many people helped it become something that we will remember and cherish forever. 

THANK YOU!

On the day of his funeral the heavens rained down as if in sorrow missing this wonderful man just like we do.  But then when we needed to be outside at the cemetery the heavens were stilled and we were able to dedicate the grave in peace and reverence for Terry and all who loved him ..., and then it poured down again for the rest of the day.  I have sent a THANK YOU upward to heaven for that moment in time that helped me feel God's love.  I have felt His love in many ways, even in such a sorrowful time.

God took from me (for a time) my most precious possession, but I will do my best to be worthy of reuniting with my love for eternity (because we were married for time and sealed for eternity on 12 February 1980).  These blessings are real and eternal and they make life worth living.   I've never known such deep sadness and sorrow, but I know that when we meet again there will be even greater joy and gladness, so exquisite that I cannot comprehend, and I anxiously await that moment.  Until then I will strive with all my heart to live a good life and continue to raise a good family and to love and serve those around me, and to follow Christ and His teachings.  It is tender mercies and small miracles that will help me through each day.  I need to feel my Saviors love in all the world around me, so I must live worthy of it. 

There is much that I must learn and do now, and I'm sure I will meet failure and sorrow time and again but with the Lords help I can do all things.  He has been there for me in the past and is with me in the present and will be with me in the future.  And as a wise man has told me many times,  "It will turn out better than I think!"


There are so many (including thousands I have never met and know nothing about) who have helped Terry become the man he was and I am so grateful for each one that has touched his life in some way, however large or small that was.

THANK YOU!


At a funeral we always hear about the good things and it makes us think that person is perfect and then we might wonder why we are not.  Terry was a good man, not perfect, but very good even with his failures and shortcomings - he had many qualities and characteristics that blessed our lives and made us happy.  We will miss him - everything about him. 

Our days have been overflowing in kindness shown by family and friends and we are grateful for each one that has shared their love and their hope and their prayers and their time and effort to help us through our last couple weeks ..., even months and years. 

THANK YOU!

We love you for ALL you have done!  

Terry Wayne Hebdon

 

Terry Wayne Hebdon was born July 16^th, 1957 in Ephrata WA, to Keith Auger and Idris Egbert Hebdon.  One of 7 children, he was taught the value of hard work, responsibility, honesty and integrity, a love for family, and a faith in and love for God.

He attended Ricks College and then served a mission in Spain for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and has continued serving faithfully in many positions through the years.

Terry enjoyed farming and followed his dream to live in Royal City and farm with his dad and family, eventually purchasing the business when his dad retired. 

Terry had a love for learning and would often enjoy reading the dictionary and finding new words.  He had a special talent of arranging words on paper to create a message or poem that would touch hearts so tenderly.  These many poems remain with family and friends to fill their hearts with love for this special man and his love for them.

Terry met, courted, and married Elaine Rodeback in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple for time and eternity on February 12^th, 1980.  Their eternal family began to grow and Terry continued to work hard to support this family he loved – 9 children, 5 daughters-in-law, eleven grandchildren and a posterity that will continue to grow for years to come.

Family has always been important to him and he strived to teach his children the same values and gospel principles that sustained him in life.  He led by example, even, and maybe especially, while facing adversity.  

His life changed in 2004 as he was diagnosed with lymphoma and leukemia and through the years other cancers and complications were added to his challenge.  This path was not an easy one but with Elaine by his side and with the help and prayers of his children, family, and friends, and an unwavering faith in Jesus Christ, he held strong and faithful to the end.   Even in his hardest moments he could be heard saying “I’m fine!”

Terry Wayne Hebdon passed away December 10^th, 2014 in the Wenatchee Valley Hospital, surrounded by his beloved wife, some of his “best buddies” and supported by the love and prayers of others.

He will be missed but never forgotten.

Funeral services will be held Saturday, December 20^th at 10:00, in Royal Camp at The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.  Internment will immediately follow at the Royal City Cemetery.   Please sign the online guestbook or leave a note for the family at www.kayserchapel.com. Arrangements are in care of Kayser’s Chapel & Crematory, Moses Lake.

"A FUNERAL IS MORE THAN A SINGLE DAY IN A LIFETIME ... IT'S A LIFETIME IN A SINGLE DAY." 


Just a note:
This was one of the hardest things to do - write an obituary for my husband/best friend.  I really wished for his words to help me write this, but I felt on my own.  Though I was feeling on my own, I was not - eventually, with the help of my children and encouragement from my mother, and then comfort and guidance from above this task was completed.  It is hard to try and remember things, and I realized how much I don't know about this awesome man, so trying to fit a lifetime into a few paragraphs was very difficult.  Much has been left unsaid about him but those of us who knew him will be able to recall things through the years and continue to build a love for him that is strong. 

THANK YOU  for even the smallest part you played in his life.  All who knew him helped make him the man he became and I love you all for that, because he was ONE GOOD MAN!

We all know that he was not perfect, but he was perfect for me. He is my one and only love.  

To my dear family and friends,

It is with heavy heart that I feel compelled to write this post this morning.  I have spent the past several years sharing experiences of a wonderful man, my husband and best friend, Terry Wayne Hebdon.

This morning my news is one of mixed emotion.  My heart rejoices at the fact that he is now pain free and able to move about on his own without the help of myself or my children to get him where he needed to be or to help move him to a more comfortable sitting or laying position.  However wonderful that fact is, my heart feels somewhat broken as it misses it's most precious companion of almost 35 years. 

My beloved and eternal companion, Terry Wayne Hebdon, passed away peacefully yesterday morning, 10 December 2014.  He is in a better place and has certainly spent time greeting loved ones who have gone before, including his parents and a younger brother.  No doubt he is enjoying every moment.  However true that is, I cannot help but think that he too may be missing us here and I treasure in the thought that his spirit will still be felt here on earth to help sustain those of us he left behind.

Terry did not want to die, but knew that it was the Lords plan for him..., for us.  There were many things he wanted to live for and he fought a good fight as he battled for more than ten years with this awful disease we call cancer. His body began to shut down and he could often feel his mind was confused.  He loved to learn and he loved to hear words used properly in speaking and writing so it hurt to feel so confused at times. 

Please forgive my imperfections in this post.  I often had Terry read through them before I posted them so he could help me correct my spelling and grammar imperfections, but this morning I am on my own. 

In many ways I do feel on my own, but I also want to make sure that you understand that I also feel a very strong presence and love from above.  I know that my Savior loves me and that our loving Heavenly Father is aware of my every need and will help me through every minute of the day and night.  I cannot do it alone and I am so grateful for Their presence in my life.  I know They will help me and each of my children and grandchildren to carry on here on earth through our mortal existence so that we may meet once again in heaven to rejoice together with this wonderful man, my husband, a loving father and grandfather, a brother and son, an uncle, a cousin, a nephew, a friend. 

It seems fitting now to share one of his poems with you and as I try to consider which poem I struggle to choose just one. 

... 

I went to the office just now to get the folders with Terry's poems so I could find the right poem to share.  On my way back, with those folders tucked tight in my arms against my heart I saw this,

and this,

and then this.

My house is filled with visions of hope and love from our Savior, the Prince of Peace.  We often refer to these experiences as a tender mercy or small miracles, but what we call them is not as important as the fact that they exist in large measure and I look forward to each and every one.

You may notice that the photos above are blurry.  I wanted to retake them and tried, but with the darkness in the room around me and the lights on the greenery shining so brightly, (sharing a message of hope from the Light above, from He who is the Light of the World), it would not come more clearly.  I left the blurry photos because they seem almost a symbol of the blurriness of my vision as my eyes are filled with tears so much of the time lately.  Someday I hope to stop crying.

After sitting at my computer and waiting for those photos to load into the post I looked up and found more.  More that reminds me of my Savior's love for me and for each member of my family.  For you and each member of your family.

And then this special view ...

I love this man, I am grateful to have him as my eternal companion.  I look forward to our reunion one day to hold him tight without hurting him and to see him face to face.  Until then, the smiling face above is the face I will see.

I know he loves me and I now know what poem I will share with you.  It was a special moment during a difficult time and it is close to my heart and to those who shared it with me.  I will share the experience and the poem written by my love.


The day we were admitted to the hospital for Terry's last few hours on earth the hospital chaplain came in wishing to help comfort us.  In our selfish moment of grieving we mentioned how it seemed he spent too much time there, but while he was there he asked about Terry and what he did and liked.  I mentioned that he liked to write poems.  The chaplain asked more about the poems and if there were any romantic poems.  I answered to the affirmative, sharing that the very first poem I ever knew him to write was one such poem.  We wished we had Terry's poem book with us and when Dana went home for a couple hours she brought back one of the books. 

Wednesday morning after Terry had passed away and we were sitting in the room together (with heavy hearts) Thomas picked up that book and began to read it. He was soon filled with emotion and handed the book to Dana so she could read one of those poems.  The first poem in the book, the first poem I ever knew Terry to write, and it was to me.  It was written 35 years ago, December 4th, a couple months before we were married.   This poem now helps me find comfort in a very tender time.

Terry did not give this poem a title, but I did when I put it in the book. I call it "A Love Letter" because that is what it was to me, and that is what it still is to me.

My heart is full
it cannot write
and so my hand picks up the plight

To express to you
my love and care
and thank you most
for being there

For permitting my acquaintance
with you to grow
and become a love
that's true we know

A thing that thrives
when we're together
a bonding force
for worse or better

An emotion that
one day may be
a light far off
that we can see

Which guides us both
in our trek together
bringing sunshine
in stormy weather

That utopia we both
must strive to find
through tenderness
and being kind

Now let it be said
before I'm through
Elaine, my dearest
I do love you!


This was more special to me than what my children even knew at the time, because for a couple weeks I had secretly and selfishly wished that Terry might write a poem for me and leave it for me to find after he passed away.  This was it, and my heart was full, and I am so grateful that it was brought to my attention at such a needful time.


I have shared with you some very tender feelings today and I hope they somehow help you know of the love that Terry and I shared and will continue to share, and of the love I have for and feel from our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ. 

I believe that Terry would be pleased with what I shared this morning because he would often comment on how special it was that friends and family would read this blog to learn about our little part of the world and he felt the love that came from each of you.

So, with that, I send a special thanks from him and from me for your love and concern, for your comments and for your unselfish service, and especially for your prayers on our behalf.  When people have asked me what they can do I have often suggested that they continue to pray for us.  If you send the prayers upward they will rain back down on us and we will be lifted. 

THANK YOU!
We love you!