There have been so many times I have read something in my seminary lessons that has blessed my life, lifted my soul, and helped me to see the goodness of God ... over and over again.

I love being reminded of these spiritual truths and decided to put them somewhere to help me more easily find them again.  So I add them here To Remind Me!




Richard G. Scott:
"Don't look for a life virtually free from discomfort, pain, pressure, challenge, or grief, for those are the tools of a loving Father uses to stimulate our personal growth and understanding."




Orson F. Whitney:
"No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted.  It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility.   All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God .. and it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we come here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven."




Video message: The Will of God

Seminary Prep!

I have to admit that I'm feeling overwhelmed with the responsibilities I have been given, but I am so grateful for the opportunity to teach seminary.   I look forward to the spiritual enlightenment that comes from studying the word of God. 

I never expected to feel this way, but I'm getting anxious to begin seminary, but I still have a lot of prep, so I'm not rushing it.

Along with preparing for seminary, I have been preparing for a talk I'll give in Sacrament Mtg.  
The Stake President asked that each seminary teacher speak in their ward this month.  I begin that tomorrow, in the Royal 1st Ward and 3rd Branch.  (The 1st ward teacher is out of town, so it's my privilege.)  We will also have our short kick off meeting with the students and their parents.  We start the 29th!!!!

Elder Packer referred to seminary as a "God Send" - I believe it.

I am grateful for all of the teachers and students who helped make seminary a “God Send” for me and my family.    

I had a fun moment with a mathematical equation.

I was adding up the years that my family has been blessed through seminary. 

9 children x 4 years of seminary 

+ Terry and I x 4 years 

+ Terry taught 2+ years  

+ I taught one.  

= 47+ years of seminary.  

+ my mother and father x 4 years  

+ father taught 2+ years  

+ Terry’s mother and father attended? x 4 (I'm guessing they attended) 

+ she taught 1 (or 2, 3, ?)  

= 67+ years of seminary.

I can continue ...

+ 6 of my siblings x 4 years (+ some have taught seminary)

+ 5 of Terry's siblings x 4 years (+ some have taught seminary)

+ 7 daughters in law x 4 years

= 139+ years of seminary. 

But acquiring spiritual knowledge isn’t just for seminary students and teachers; it is for every one of us.    So...

If I use those same people in my family, as if they had each studied the scriptures just once daily in a personal or a family setting since they were 1 year old, my numbers would change.

67+ becomes 675+ years of acquiring spiritual knowledge

139+ would be 845+.

It continues
+ my grandchildren 
+ my grandparents
+ Terry's grandparents
=  1480+ years of acquiring spiritual knowledge.  

Imagine what that number would be if I added all of our ancestors from their first missionary discussion to now.

All of these years of seeking and acquiring spiritual knowledge have blessed our lives, helped us make better choices, directed us in the proper path, prepared us for upcoming experiences, and brought us closer to Jesus Christ. 

This doesn't mean that no one has made mistakes or faltered, but it does mean we have the proper foundation to keep us steadfast and immovable if we continue on the right path.

Now, for your listening pleasure...

10 December 2015

It's been one year since Terry passed away and I miss him terribly..., but I'm Fine!

I thought of you today, but that is nothing new.

I thought about you yesterday and days before that too.

I think of you in silence, I often speak your name.

All I have are memories and your picture in a frame.

Your memory is a keepsake from which I'll never part.

God has you in His arms, I have you in my heart.

I prayed that I would be okay, and I continually tried to reassure myself that the Lord has been strengthening me these past six months and that I can do this.  I know it's true!

I wanted to celebrate and recall the great memories of our first 35 years and not dwell on the memories of being without him during this last year, nor dread the next however many years I have to live without him - because it's just too hard on a soul to be sad every second of the day.

I woke up Thursday morning with a peaceful feeling and felt that my day was going to be okay.

image from here

I went to teach seminary almost like it was any other day..., but I had a back up plan ready to set in motion if needed. (Thanks to a great friend that was ready and willing to prepare just in case, and then come take my place if my emotions got the best of me.)

I got to seminary and was surprised to see three students there early before I even entered the classroom, so I could sense a difference but didn't pay much attention to anything else except finding a place to put the things piled in my arms.

I noticed my lectern at one side of the room.  It had a plate of cookies and little hearts scattered around with encouraging words written on each. It immediately brought joy to my heart and tears to my eyes.

Awesomeness!  This is the plate of cookies and the hearts that were scattered around the table top

I then knew why the girls had come early and gratitude filled my whole soul.  I felt of their love, and put my things down on a table and went back to give them a hug.

Then they started to explain a few things and tell me more about it and that is when I noticed the rest of the room.  I felt silly for not having noticed it first, but my mind and eyes were on other things as I entered the room.  There was another "heart attack" on the white board, with notes from my students.

It was a beautiful sight to behold - beautiful to my eyes and to my heart and soul.  Of course my emotions surfaced again ...,

and again, when one of the boys walked in with this lovely arrangement.

I was able to teach that day and at the end of class I had a little cup of almond m&ms for each of them and asked them to give me a handshake or hug as they left, if they felt comfortable.  I have awesome students!   I am grateful for each one of them.  I love them!  I am grateful that God gave them to me.


I continued to feel a special spirit throughout the day.  I wished I could decipher whether that spirit was from Terry or from the Savior.  Then something special happened that afternoon and I knew that it was Terry that was with me, because immediately an impression came to me that was him talking to me in his familiar tone of voice and with words that he would have used, and my mind then knew what my heart had been feeling.  I was grateful to know he was with me.

Later that day as I was talking about that experience I realized that it really is awesome that I don't always know if it is Terry or the Spirit of the Lord with me, and that just means they are similar enough to each other that I cannot tell them apart.

I must certainly make sure my actions here on earth will make me the person that Terry wants back when the time comes.

In addition to this love shown at seminary, I received texts and phone calls and emails and visits that
kept me busy all day.  I am grateful for family and friends.  Thank you all for your thoughts and prayers on my behalf (and for my family too).

It certainly has been a difficult year ...,

image from here 

but it has included some special times that I will treasure.

I am not grateful that Terry left this earth life when he did, but I am grateful for our Savior and Heavenly Father who have proven that They are aware of me, my family and the situation They placed us in.  Sometimes I feel lost, but I am very aware of the fact that I am / We are not alone.

image from here 

This day was a tender mercy!

A Tender Mercy

To Remind Me:
I love this message from my seminary study last night and so want to remember it.
It's one more time when something speaks to me in a very personal way. Especially the last paragraph.  I didn't actually read my name in place of Abraham when I was studying it, but the feeling was the same as if I had, and quite intense.

School / Seminary

Well, usually I have posted a picture of the kids heading out to their first day or two of school.  I was otherwise occupied and not thinking about that the first three days of school for Anthony, but then a new week came when I too was headed out the door for school ..., or for seminary, before school.

It was an odd, but even familiar feeling.   I think I have a picture of the first day of school when I was in elementary school.  I feel a little old here.  But doesn't Anthony look awesome!


I am glad to know that my first week isn't my final week, so that I have time to improve.  I hope the students will survive and be able to overlook my unprofessional and weak teaching abilities.


I have enjoyed my time studying.  There is so much good in the scriptures and I love how I am feeling the love of God in the study of the Old Testament and Pearl of Great Price.


This morning I was so into my studying that I was almost late for church.  We are using the most recent General Conference messages as we study throughout the year, and one quote that touched me today was just for me.  Not necessarily one I planned to share with the class, but it spoke directly to me, as have many other quotes and scriptures of late.


“If we looked at mortality as the whole of existence, then pain, sorrow, failure, and short life would be calamity. But if we look upon life as an eternal thing stretching far into the premortal past and on into the eternal post-death future, then all happenings may be put in proper perspective.”⁷

Message by Elder Rafael E. Pino, p 118 May 2015 Ensign.  Quote is from President Spencer W. Kimball.
 

We will begin our study of Moses this week in seminary.  One scripture (among the many great verses I've read the last couple days), has sunk deep into my heart and as I liken it unto me, I see and I testify that it is true.  What He says to one, He says to all!  (D&C 93:49)  He is saying this to me.

Moses 1:26
"And lo, I am with thee, even unto the end of thy days..."

The Lord was talking to Moses and preparing him for what was to come - for what he would become. I feel encouragement from this message and will strive with all my heart to remember it and use it to help me in my becoming.

I know the Lord is with me, and for that, I am grateful.  I hope to remember this through all the ups and downs that are sure to come.


I love the Lord.
I love the scriptures.
I love my family.
New to my list, but genuinely so - I love my seminary students.
I love the peace the Spirit brings.

Seminary

Today I continue my thoughts after yesterday's  My Dream  post where I said this -
"I know that our loving Father in Heaven is aware of my crushed dreams and my need to come up with a new dream.  I know He knows that I don't really want to, but need to if I am going to be ready for the blessings that await me and my spouse and our family.   I also know that He is giving me the nudge I need, after several months of mourning and sitting stagnant."


My nudge came more as a "kick in the pants" and in the way of a calling to serve.  The hardest calling I have ever been given.

A few weeks ago I was invited into the bishop's office and he asked me to teach seminary this fall. WOW!  That came as a huge surprise.

I was not pleased at this assignment and wanted so badly to decline the invitation, (like many other invitations of late).   Something inside wouldn't let me even though my fears were overshadowing me with an almost tangible, definitely stressful, darkness inside.

Luckily there was a light shining through strong enough to pierce the darkness - a LIGHT that was telling me that I must accept this call.

So when I finally composed myself enough to speak, I told the bishop that if he was convinced, without any doubt that this call was from the Lord - not just something that they (the bishopric) thought would be a good idea - then I was convinced that I must accept this call.  He assured me that he had never been so sure.  I will obey!


So the last few weeks I have been studying and reading how to become a seminary teacher.  It has been a challenge for me because I still have that inability to concentrate and focus for an extended period of time.   How can I spend hours studying when I cannot concentrate for even one hour at a time?

This has been a great help!

Well, with what studying I have been able to do, I have come to a conclusion that this new mind set of mine could actually be a blessing in disguise - it is suggested that we spend no more than 2 hours a day with our preparation. Oh Bother!   I don't think I have ever spent so little time with preparation for a talk or lesson.

I am the kind of person that spends every waking moment on my next project and with today's mind set I don't have enough waking moments to do that for seminary 5 days a week every week.

With all the pre-learning that I need to do to help me be a good teacher I am currently spending more time than two hours a day trying to prepare myself  (it takes place several times a day with a few focus changes in between).  I just wanna be the best I can be.  I hope my mind can recall what I have been learning when it comes time to use it.  I know that the best thing I can do is to let the Spirit guide me.

One of the first things I read and viewed was a message given by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland to the CES Religious Educators on Feb 6 2015.  I listened to and read that message and felt it was precisely what I needed.  It was so personal for me.  Not just as a seminary teacher, but for everything I am presently going through in life.  I really needed those exact words, even at the very time I read it.  So I put a note on my computer monitor to remind me.

It joins a thought on the other side of the monitor that I wrote a few months ago after having an inspirational moment one day (after Terry's passing).

Both of these help me focus and put things into perspective.


As much as I wish I did not have to accept this call and that I didn't have to start with the most difficult course of study (for me personally), I have had a few personal witnesses that it is the right call for me at the right time for me.

 course of study

Because I have had a few simple yet profound personal moments bearing witness that this is the right thing for me to do I have found myself almost becoming excited about teaching seminary.  That is a very strange feeling, and I expect it will continue and become a more constant feeling as time goes on.  So again I am experiencing good and joyful at the same time as bad and terrifying - seems wrong but it does happen to me often. I hope that someday the light of the good and joyful will far outweigh the darkness.

Being a seminary teacher will require so much, but it will be worth every effort.
Is it true that the harder the test the greater the blessing?  I hope so, because I have so many prayers sent heavenward for my children and their families, and I promise to do everything in my power to help those prayers (and maybe I can even call them dreams) be realized and come true.


So with this difficult assignment and all that will be required of me to fulfill it well, I feel my Saviors love for me and for my family.  And I will hope that tomorrow it will "turn out better than I think!"

It isn't going to be an "over night" change, but I can feel that the change will come, line upon line, one step at a time, one tomorrow at a time. And this is one change that I do look forward to - it is something that I desperately need.


I am reminded of a message Elder Bednar gave, so I'll close with that - Bear Up Their Burdens with Ease

Each of us also carries a load. Our individual load is comprised of demands and opportunities, obligations and privileges, afflictions and blessings, and options and constraints. Two guiding questions can be helpful as we periodically and prayerfully assess our load: “Is the load I am carrying producing the spiritual traction that will enable me to press forward with faith in Christ on the strait and narrow path and avoid getting stuck? Is the load I am carrying creating sufficient spiritual traction so I ultimately can return home to Heavenly Father?”

Sometimes we mistakenly may believe that happiness is the absence of a load. But bearing a load is a necessary and essential part of the plan of happiness. Because our individual load needs to generate spiritual traction, we should be careful to not haul around in our lives so many nice but unnecessary things that we are distracted and diverted from the things that truly matter most.