A Wedding Celebration!

Our daughter, BrittanyJo Hebdon became BrittanyJo Henrie on May 9, 2017.  She is now part of a new family and we welcome a new member to our family.

 Nate and BrittanyJo Henrie.

This was a happy occasion of course, but I admit, it has given me a bit of anxiety as I see her last name different than it has been for the last 21 years.  Actually, we felt like we had a BrittanyJo Hebdon in the family since 1982. 

The name change is new for me, of course, since my boys have all kept their last names.  It's an odd sensation, but I suppose I'll get used to it in time.  In some ways I feel like I've lost her, and surely I have given her away (sort of).  I've given her away with the understanding that she is still mine.   It's a good thing, so I'm trying to get used to it.  After all, I did that one time too, and have been so blessed and grateful that I did.

These two awesome people got to know each other and soon learned that they loved each other and wanted to spend eternity together, so one year after they first started talking they were married.

As with all of our children, we have spent years preparing for this day, but different than the other children, we had put several years of searching and shopping into it. We loved the idea of vintage china plates and goblets so we began collecting them a few years ago.  It was a fun and exciting thing to do together. 

Choosing favors was fun too, and we hope everyone was able to get a favor before they left.

We added to our list of vintage items - things like silverware, linen napkins, doilies, silver pitchers and trays, candle sticks, and anything else we liked and wanted to add to our collection. ;)

All of these things were added and put together to help create the look we wanted.

We added some other things that meant a lot to our family and helped warm our hearts on this special day.  Those things included Terry's work boots and the mail box he made thirty-some years ago.  In fact, much of what was used has some simple but fun memory with it.  The quilt was made by BrittanyJo.

We added some fun and favorite foods too.  It was all so very fun, and even the youngest in attendance enjoyed.

We have some wonderful family and friends that helped us set up and serve and make this day the special day it was.  To them, and to all who attended and sent greetings, we say THANK YOU!

Here we have the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

This next set of pics does not include all of the help (some seemed to avoid or escape the camera), but these pictures do represent all who helped throughout the event, from set up to take down.  THANK YOU ALL!

And of course we would not have been able to enjoy this occasion without all of our family and friends that attended.  We are missing people from these photos too, but, to all we say THANK YOU!

We thank you all for helping us create the memories from this day that will last a life time.

The sun went down on this beautiful day and we were all happy for the wonderful day that it was.

We even enjoyed the take down and clean up!

They had a great honeymoon and then returned to Idaho for an open house on the 20th.  That too was a great event where family and friends gathered to celebrate and share in this special occasion.

They / We have much to be grateful for!

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Chase and Rebekah are Married!

SIX of our NINE children are married now - THREE more to go.  I am counting, but I'm not in a hurry.

Chase and Rebekah coming out of the San Diego Temple on that special wedding morning

It was lovely!

A few of our family and friends attended as the temple president sealed them. Beautiful words were spoken, wonderful advice given, love abounded, and the Spirit was strong.  And, they are married!

Getting boutonnieres on

This was another first for me - first wedding of our children after Terry's passing.  It was an emotional time for me but I felt love from above and knew that Terry was present. (I hope to someday be able to control these emotions a bit more, and I apologize to any who might feel uncomfortable because of my weakness.)  I missed Terry's physical body next to me, but I took his recommend with me and carried it throughout the temple so that I could have something tangible to see and feel and remind me that he is here with us at those special occasions in our lives.

the bride and her bridesmaids

Anthony and Chase  ;)  it was a warm day, but we had some fun in the sun

We had a wonderful luncheon at the Boaz home and then helped set up for the reception.
The mighty wind began blowing the decor around, but the atmosphere was so pleasant and inviting. It was a wonderful event that brought cheer and delight to our hearts.

Gelene and Ron Rodeback on the dance floor

Chase and Rebekah

leaving the reception

It really was a wonderful day!

It was hard for me to leave home and begin this trip Thursday morning (Aug 6th).  The best way for me to explain my feelings is that Terry is here in our home and I didn't want to leave him - there is a love that I feel here and a comfort and peace from above.  I know he is not here physically, but I recognized more than ever before that his presence is here, and it's visible in his personal items that he left behind.  I didn't want to leave it, but I did want to go to the wedding, so I had no other choice. I was grateful to find that peaceful spirit with us while we were away. I am learning in so many new ways that  We are Family, and We are Together Forever!

Shawna drove down with BJo, Anthony and I for the wedding day. We enjoyed having her with us.

FYI -
We have been to five different temples for our six married children. Each temple is beautiful and meaningful. The most glorious part of each is the Spirit that is felt within it's walls and the ordinances that are performed by those with the proper authority, especially that of eternal marriage, making it possible for families to be together forever.

Chase and Rebekah were each a part of an eternal family and are now part of a new eternal family - each being linked together in love.  I am so happy that Rebekah has joined our eternal family - I love her!

in love forever and ever ...

I add these inspired words on Eternal Marriage, by Marion D. Hanks, to remind each of us of the importance of marriage.  (Click on the link to read the complete text, not included in it's fullness here - it's a great read.)

Wonderful promises are sealed upon a man and woman in temple marriage, and the realization of the promised blessings is related directly to their understanding and keeping the solemn commitments they make to each other and the Lord.

Those commitments in a temple are total and permanent—involving the whole person, as is, for the whole journey. Neither will remain as he or she is, of course; they will both grow and develop in a multitude of ways. But this marriage ceremony is without condition or reservation, save only the faithfulness of those who make it. On this solid foundation the newly formed family joyfully undertakes to learn how to live happily forever, to build a strong and loving union that will grow more wholesome and more glorious everlastingly.

Many new and enduring relationships spring into being with marriage—relationships all of which are vital to the happiness of the family.

For her, the words—sacred words—are wife, mother, homemaker, heart of a home; for him, husband, father, protector, provider, leader in his home in the warm spirit of the priesthood.

Together they enter a partnership, sharing and learning and growing.

They join their lives as companions in the special sense that married people do. Whether in the same room or a world apart, they are married twenty-four hours a day. They care about the whole person, the whole future of each other. With good humor and good disposition and genuine consideration of the needs of the other, they set out to make it a happy life. They laugh a lot and cry a little. They are warm and considerate and thoughtful: the note, the telephone call, the kind word, the sensitive response, the excitement of heading home to her, of having him come home.

Married people are sweethearts, in a special creative union, blessed with that powerful chemistry that draws two together, sometimes from next door, sometimes from a world away. This divinely designed power must be sustained by other qualities—by respect and loyalty and integrity—to be what it is meant to be. To be able to give oneself fully with confidence and trust, and to fully receive the other joyfully and gratefully—this is a blessing that grows in meaning year by year and forever.

And married people should be best friends; no relationship on earth needs friendship as much as marriage.

Friendship in a marriage is so important. It blows away the chaff and takes the kernel, rejoices in the uniqueness of the other, listens patiently, gives generously, forgives freely. Friendship will motivate one to cross the room one day and say, “I’m sorry; I didn’t mean that.” It will not pretend perfection nor demand it. It will not insist that both respond exactly the same in every thought and feeling, but it will bring to the union honesty, integrity. There will be repentance and forgiveness in every marriage—every good marriage—and respect and trust.

And all these and other elements we are not able to mention eloquently declare that such a union doesn’t just happen.

So the need becomes clear for careful, thoughtful preparation, selection, and courtship. No one should be unwise enough to count on an across-the-crowded-room romanticized live-happily- ever-after marriage made without proper thoughtfulness, preparation, and prayer. Marriage is an everyday and every-way relationship in which honesty and character and shared convictions and objectives and views about finances and family and life-style are more important than moonlight and music and an attractive profile.

... heaven will be heaven for us because we know we will be there with the one we love the best ...


(I am looking forward to heaven!  I am grateful to have a bit of heaven in our home!)

Spouse First!

A few weeks ago I found an article and started my own post to share my own thoughts and feelings on the subject.  I didn't take time to finish that post the same day I started it and have now returned to complete it.
Here is my post, beginning with the article I found that inspired a response to it.


Why I'll Always Put My Husband Before My Kids

Further searching led me to another great article about putting spouse first.

4 key reasons why it matters to put your spouse before your children  (Just saying - this is awesome!)

Reading those articles reminded me of Terry and me.


I will never regret the times we sat next to each other instead of letting our children sit between us, sitting next to him at the table instead of at the other end of the table across from him, walking down the sidewalk together with kids around us instead of between us, sitting in the car beside each other instead of one of us in the back with the kids (except when we had a student driver, of course), and also not letting the children in our beds with us (that was learned quite quickly after very few attempts when little ones were ill - it just wasn't worth it).

When we went to Seattle for Terry's transplants it was suggested that I take turns with others to be his caregiver, but we couldn't even consider that route.   There really was no other way for us - being there together was just the right way to handle it - and I am so glad we chose that way.  We felt bad that neither of us were with the kids, but we were doing the right thing.  Life is full of difficult decisions and requirements.


The first article I read closed by saying this;
"In a few years, our son and daughter will leave our home and when they do, I want to celebrate a job well done with my lover—not sit in a quiet house with a person who has become a stranger as a result of years of quietly drifting apart."

This is what I wanted too, but we all know that it didn't get to happen for me like that.

My dream of sitting out in the yard beside my husband, holding hands, enjoying the beautiful scenery, which would include our wonderful family around us, is no longer a dream I can create in this life.

The reality of that crushed dream is precisely another great reason I am an avid believer of  always put your spouse first.   It might be over sooner than you thought and you want no regrets. I do not regret the times we were together, putting each other first.  Sure I have regrets and could think of several if I let myself dwell there, but that is not a very fun place to go, so I try to avoid that place.

I do however need to admit that we did miss a few moments because I felt I had too many little children to spend too much time away from them for husband / wife trips.  We had talked more than once about the fact that we made up for that with our Seattle times the last few years, but I do miss that we didn't allow that to happen earlier in our lives.
I thought we would be able to do that later in our lives - I didn't know then what I know now.
(Let me also say that I do still believe that husband / wife trips can be abused and happen too often for some. It might turn out different for those who loose a child too early and spent all of their time off on business or pleasure trips.  That sounded wrong - surely too early is any time.)


My time with my husband wasn't long enough ... it was over too soon!
But I am deeply grateful for the time we did have together!   The time we spent married was maybe half the time we wished for, but Terry has indeed become a real part of me and I, even with a few regrets, do feel that our relationship was a "job well done".  What a blessing he has been in my life, and I believe he will yet continue to be a blessing in my life.


Just as Helen Keller said;

What we have once enjoyed we can never lose.  

All that we love becomes a part of us.

personal photo of gift we gave to Terry's mother a few years ago, that made it back into our possession

 
Our love grew through the years and I keep praying that it will continue to grow.  After all, there will be many changes made by each of us before we meet again.

And for now my children and grandchildren can sit on either side of me without concern of steeling it from their father or grandfather.

Someday we will be side by side again and I look forward to that with great anticipation.  Will I get to hug him and kiss him and sit next to him and make up for lost time?  Will we have so much to tell each other or will we just know those things somehow?

The reuniting, however it takes place, will no doubt be glorious, and there will certainly be an overflowing of love and admiration.

The second article I mentioned above closed with information testifying of this
"When your marriage is going well, it improves every other part of your life."

That has to include the rest of my life too.
So, on that note, I end with a grateful heart!

You will be alright!

I was reading through the book my mom and dad gave me (about Terry's health journey) and wanted to write down a quote I had posted 4/22/2014 

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow,

it empties today of its strength.”

― Corrie Ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook

and an experience I posted 5/21/2014.

"As I was sitting in the infusion room yesterday I tried to recall my prayers and if I had felt any real answers to them.  I couldn't recall specific times that I had heard or felt a specific answer, but my mind immediately received an answer telling me that He [our Savior] promises to be with me.  That is what I need.  I need my Saviors love and I need Him every hour!

And, I'm grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves us and hears and answers our prayers, even on His own time and in His own way.  He can make me strong."  

I was grateful to re-read that and to remember that I have been given many spiritual reminders that let me know that my Savior loves me.  

I also re-read that Terry knew the same thing -  I wrote this on 5/6/2014 while he was in the hospital last spring.

"As we were talking this morning he [Terry] remembered a special moment years ago after being diagnosed with this disease when the Lord told him - "I know you, I love you, and you will be alright!"

I know he is alright and that makes me happy.  I am just so grateful that we have had these witnesses in the past (and present) to let me know that I am going to be alright too.

I opened my planner to write down the quotes and thoughts I had just read and I found a couple notes that I had written in my planner earlier this week.  I had forgotten them until now and decided to get up and post about it.  

I went to Wenatchee for an appointment with the Social Security. I went early enough to take care of a couple other things and while at the counter of one business, giving personal information, the lady asked me "are you married?"  I hadn't been asked that since Terry passed away and it kinda caught me off guard.  How do I answer that?  

I knew she could see Terry's name on her screen and that he was my husband, and in my mind I am still married, and in the Lord's plan I am still married, but to them, I am not, so my answer came in a way of explanation as I informed her that Terry is my husband but he passed away in December.  She then put me on a new account, because Terry's account was no longer valid.   

I understood and wasn't too emotional about it.  It really is a fact of life right now that I am trying hard to deal with, and I had already emotionally lost it once this week (or last week) over a silly little thing someone said during testimony meeting in my mom and dad's ward last Sunday. (Yes, I felt rather foolish - all he said was that he was 91 years old today ... lucky guy huh! However, I know he lost his wife a few years ago ... not so lucky guy!)

Okay, next appointment was at the SS office and as I was answering questions they asked if our marriage ended at death.  What?  Again, I know the answer is NO!  Our marriage has not ended and I am so looking forward to eternity with my husband.  I am so grateful for Heavenly Father's plan, for our Savior's sacrifice, and for the priesthood and temple blessings that make this a fact. I am striving to be worthy of those blessings and promises.  

Well, I answered yes because I realize that they needed to differentiate that it was death and not divorce, and I know that our bodies did part at death, but they are wrong - our marriage did not end with that parting.  

I am pleased to say that I was emotionally stable through that too. I don't know why I was so emotional about that 91 year old, except that the man who spoke before this 91 year old man shared such a powerful testimony about his belief and faith in Christ - it was exactly what I was feeling which made me emotional already, so this one little phrase just set me off. I can't imagine what everyone around me was thinking, especially those on the stand who could see me so clearly.  It was a bit embarrassing. 

I'm okay!  

I'm okay!  ;/

I really am!  :)

It's a good feeling!

Thank you for your prayers!