Sweetness!

35 years ago, on February 12th I was married to my eternal companion whom I love and cherish.  I am so grateful for that opportunity and I am so grateful for the good times we have shared together.  I truly have special moments that carry me through rough times and make living patiently and faithfully a desirable thing.  I am also grateful that I have been taught by goodly parents and church leaders and others that I can do hard things, because this is surely the hardest thing I've ever had to experience.

I heard something recently that touched me -

"A wife is heaven's last best gift"

To me, that was a pleasant thought and I hoped that Terry felt that way about me.  

I don't know where that quote really began so as I thought and pondered and searched it for a few minutes I was enlightened and thought I'd share - 

It is similar to, or a portion of this quote from Jeremy Taylor, found here;

"A good wife is heaven's last best gift to man; his angel and minister of graces innumerable; his gem of many virtues; his casket of jewels; her voice his sweet music; her smiles his brightest day; her kiss the guardian of his innocence; her arms the pale of his safety, the balm of his health, the balsam of his life; her industry, his surest wealth; her economy, his safest steward; her lips, his faithful counselors; her bosom, the softest pillow of his cares; and her prayers, the ablest advocates of heaven's blessings on his head."

I wondered about the word "last" being used and then found an invitation to consider Eve being created last and given to Adam, found here, where these words were shared;

Heaven's Last Best Gift. At first I thought Lord Crawford was just being flattering, but then realized the historical significance of his statement; Eve is the last creation ever mentioned. And if we do our best work when we have obtained the most practice and skill, then God's ultimate creation would indeed make woman, "Heaven's last best gift." 

What an interesting way to look at the creation and marriage.  

I will say that as Eve was given to Adam, Adam became her gift as well.  That is how I think of Terry - heaven's best gift to me.  Without that gift I would not have the wonderful children and grandchildren that are ours and that bring so much joy to our lives.    

Without that gift of wife to husband and husband to wife, I would not exist, because my parents wouldn't exist either.   What a wonderful blessing of marriage and family, and what makes it even better is the blessing of the gospel and the priesthood of God, making eternal marriage and families a reality if we live worthy of it.   

I am ever so grateful for that sweet fact of life ..., beyond death.

I am also grateful to the family and friends that helped make these last couple special holidays special for me this year as my sweetheart was elsewhere.   I won't start sharing names of those family and friends because I would most dislike neglecting to mention someone.  I do send thanks to you and to our Father above for helping me through rough days.

I will share one gift I received on Thursday.  I cannot say who it was because I do not know.  It was and continues to be a surprise.  However, I do know it involved a couple young children in dark clothing, running from my yard.  Your secret is safe, because I could not tell who you were, but if you or your family members are reading this - THANK YOU!   Did you know it was our anniversary that day or was it a Valentine?  Either way, it was an act of love that touched my heart in a very special way.

THANK YOU!

I thank each one of you for your tender kindness and for your prayers on our behalf.  

You will be alright!

I was reading through the book my mom and dad gave me (about Terry's health journey) and wanted to write down a quote I had posted 4/22/2014 

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow,

it empties today of its strength.”

― Corrie Ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook

and an experience I posted 5/21/2014.

"As I was sitting in the infusion room yesterday I tried to recall my prayers and if I had felt any real answers to them.  I couldn't recall specific times that I had heard or felt a specific answer, but my mind immediately received an answer telling me that He [our Savior] promises to be with me.  That is what I need.  I need my Saviors love and I need Him every hour!

And, I'm grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves us and hears and answers our prayers, even on His own time and in His own way.  He can make me strong."  

I was grateful to re-read that and to remember that I have been given many spiritual reminders that let me know that my Savior loves me.  

I also re-read that Terry knew the same thing -  I wrote this on 5/6/2014 while he was in the hospital last spring.

"As we were talking this morning he [Terry] remembered a special moment years ago after being diagnosed with this disease when the Lord told him - "I know you, I love you, and you will be alright!"

I know he is alright and that makes me happy.  I am just so grateful that we have had these witnesses in the past (and present) to let me know that I am going to be alright too.

I opened my planner to write down the quotes and thoughts I had just read and I found a couple notes that I had written in my planner earlier this week.  I had forgotten them until now and decided to get up and post about it.  

I went to Wenatchee for an appointment with the Social Security. I went early enough to take care of a couple other things and while at the counter of one business, giving personal information, the lady asked me "are you married?"  I hadn't been asked that since Terry passed away and it kinda caught me off guard.  How do I answer that?  

I knew she could see Terry's name on her screen and that he was my husband, and in my mind I am still married, and in the Lord's plan I am still married, but to them, I am not, so my answer came in a way of explanation as I informed her that Terry is my husband but he passed away in December.  She then put me on a new account, because Terry's account was no longer valid.   

I understood and wasn't too emotional about it.  It really is a fact of life right now that I am trying hard to deal with, and I had already emotionally lost it once this week (or last week) over a silly little thing someone said during testimony meeting in my mom and dad's ward last Sunday. (Yes, I felt rather foolish - all he said was that he was 91 years old today ... lucky guy huh! However, I know he lost his wife a few years ago ... not so lucky guy!)

Okay, next appointment was at the SS office and as I was answering questions they asked if our marriage ended at death.  What?  Again, I know the answer is NO!  Our marriage has not ended and I am so looking forward to eternity with my husband.  I am so grateful for Heavenly Father's plan, for our Savior's sacrifice, and for the priesthood and temple blessings that make this a fact. I am striving to be worthy of those blessings and promises.  

Well, I answered yes because I realize that they needed to differentiate that it was death and not divorce, and I know that our bodies did part at death, but they are wrong - our marriage did not end with that parting.  

I am pleased to say that I was emotionally stable through that too. I don't know why I was so emotional about that 91 year old, except that the man who spoke before this 91 year old man shared such a powerful testimony about his belief and faith in Christ - it was exactly what I was feeling which made me emotional already, so this one little phrase just set me off. I can't imagine what everyone around me was thinking, especially those on the stand who could see me so clearly.  It was a bit embarrassing. 

I'm okay!  

I'm okay!  ;/

I really am!  :)

It's a good feeling!

Thank you for your prayers!

   

Our Weekend

We had a nice weekend!

Anthony, Connor, Chase and I went to Longview to see my parents.  It was a quick trip, but it was a good one (except for the part where we had to travel home in the rain in the dark for a couple hours - I don't see so well in those conditions and it makes me stress a bit more - so I was grateful to park the car and be home).

Our purpose for the trip was to get Anthony's patriarchal blessing.  My dad is a patriarch and has been able to give Chase, Connor, and Anthony their blessings.  BJo plans on it, but we have been unable to make that work as easily due to other obligations and responsibilities through the last couple years.  She is hoping to make it work on the 15th.

I planned on getting a photo of Anthony and my dad ...
How is it that I can think about that before and after we get there, but not while we are there?
I'll have to cheat and try to remember on our next trip.

I do have this photo from Connor's phone - taken at Stuffy's in Longview, where we had dinner - we love this food -

We did not know how much food that meal consisted of, but we know now.  That was just Chase's order.  He wasn't able to finish it.  Connor got the same thing in a different size, and he didn't finish his either.

My parents and Anthony and I got something different - we were all filled with yummy food. We really like the Stuff at Stuffys.


I have my camera ready now, so I can show you something else from this weekend visit -

My dad had been saving the posts about Terry's health that I published on our blog since our 2010 trip to Seattle for Terry's first transplant.  He had them printed and bound and presented me with this 300 page book while we were there.

So Awesome!  It was a surprise to me and I love it.  I have started reading through it and have enjoyed having it in chronological order and at my fingertips to flip through the pages and hold close at heart.  It can now sit on my shelf instead of having to get into the computer.  I love it!  (I think I already said that!)

I have re-read some of the quotes that I shared and I'm grateful that they are there to help strengthen me again.

One quote I shared on 25 April 2010 was from Elder Oaks, and is great to see today -

"Our families faith is in Jesus Christ and is not dependent on outcomes."

Wow!  Was that ever meant for us!   We must always remember that!  I took another look at the message that quote came from and as I re-read Elder Oaks talk I found some things that made my heart hurt and other things that made it grateful for such a faithful husband.

I had asked Terry a couple times the last couple months if he would like a new blessing and his response was always no.  The blessings he had previously been given were more than sufficient and he felt that if he kept getting blessings he would be lacking faith in what had already been given and even searching for a "better" blessing that would give the words we wanted to hear instead of accepting and trusting in what he already received.  We had to take what the Lord was sending us, and we had to do it in faith.  This quote used in Elder Oaks talk spoke of that -

“too frequent administrations may be an indication of lack of faith or of the ill one trying to pass the responsibility for faith development to the elders rather than self."

I really wasn't trying to pass the faith on to another, though I did always appreciate the faith of others added to ours.  I will admit that I was always wishing to hear that he would recover and live, but I also honestly just wanted him to feel some comfort and peace through all of this, and I always felt willing to accept the Lords will, but I wanted His will to be the same as mine.   Looking back now I think it must have been me - I was the one who needed the new blessing to give me some comfort and peace, because I know that Terry already had it.
I did get it one night after leaving Terry when he was in the hospital for those two and a half weeks in November, after hitting bottom so bad that I couldn't climb out on my own.  I am so grateful that I am a member of this true church and to have a righteous bishop with a selfless family who allow him to take time away from them to bless another with his priesthood authority, given him from God.   The priesthood is a wonderful blessing and worthy priesthood holders are valuable assets in our Heavenly Father's plan.  My husband was one of those assets.  My father is, and my 8 sons are.  I am grateful! In fact, when I think of the blessings I have received in my life, those given to me by my husband still stand as my most precious, no matter how wonderful the other blessings have been.  The Lord has blessed me!

There are a few more things I want to add from Elder Oaks talk.  I guess it's one of those days where I just keep going with my sermon.  ;)  It is beneficial to me, and I hope that others will appreciate it and learn from it too.  It is your choice to read the full post I write or not and I'm okay with what ever choice you make that way.

From Elder Oaks:

 "...the effect of the blessing is dependent upon faith and the Lord’s will..."

"...even the servants of the Lord, exercising His divine power in a circumstance where there is sufficient faith to be healed, cannot give a priesthood blessing that will cause a person to be healed if that healing is not the will of the Lord."

"We do all that we can for the healing of a loved one, and then we trust in the Lord for the outcome."

We certainly did all we could and that included trusting in the Lord for the outcome.  The outcome is really quite difficult, but my patriarchal blessing tells me that in the preexistence I had confidence in myself that I would meet the problems which would confront me here.  I find strength in knowing that, and that the Lord would have inspired the man who gave me my patriarchal blessing to include those words in it so that I could read them again and again to give me more strength and confidence in myself to travel through difficult times.

I think I have read our (mine and Terry's) patriarchal blessings probably 4 or 5 times now in the last couple months.  I keep wondering if I'll find something new - if it will "hit" me differently some time.
I guess it kinda did last night.  Along with the part in mine that I just shared, I found a couple paragraphs in Terry's that I read a bit differently than I had before.  I am appreciative of my new outlook on it and I am appreciative of the way Terry lived, so that he could realize those blessings, and so that I could witness them.

His spoke of his life being simply to prove to his Father in Heaven that he could keep His commandments and live according to the teachings of the gospel.  "That is the whole challenge!"  I know Terry did well with this, because of an experience I had one time that told me that Terry had passed his test and now it was my turn, (that story is included here) and because of the life I saw him live.

It also spoke of "the sweetest and most glorious moment of his life" -  going to the temple to be sealed for time and all eternity.  And, his blessing spoke of "...securing a companion who can go the whole course with you..."  That was me!  I did that!  I feel confident in the fact that I went the whole course with him, and I am still doing that!   I plan on being there for him when we meet again, no matter how many years that takes us.

There are more things I noticed and I'm sure there will be more another time I read them, but I am grateful for each little thing that comes each new day that helps lift and lighten my heart and soul.

I have re-read some of the experiences in the book my dad put together and I recall them all and am so grateful for every opportunity we had to be together and enjoy life like we did even during some not so pleasant experiences.  I have some awesome parents!  I love them!  I know they love me!

My dad ended the book with one addition from him and my mother -

"And so ends the Trial of Faith and Strength of one good man and leaves to a good woman a continued Trial of Faith and Strength."



Now with renewed faith and strength I'm going to keep on going so that one day I will be worthy of the blessings promised me and mine in every priesthood blessing given.

What an amazing Father in Heaven we have.  He has provided for us so many things that help us with every step of life.  I am grateful!

I am also grateful for my great support system.  Thank you ..., each and every one of you!

One of Those Days!

The doctors and nurses at SCCA always told us that the transplant days would become a new date to celebrate because of the new life extended for the patient.

We didn't ever get that new life - there was nothing concerning Terry's health changed for the better that we could see, and we never did celebrate either transplant date.  Those two days were just another day on the calendar to us.  In all honesty, for me they actually became days of disappointment knowing that the transplant didn't work, and I try to forget them.

However, every year, for several years now, at the beginning of each year, I go through my new planner and write in the birthdays and celebration of each family member.  I had done this for 2015 in November 2014, but I was looking through my planner Sunday morning circling the dates so I would see them more easily so as not to forget (I have forgotten lately and I hate that feeling - my mind is still not clear as it should be).  

As I did I obviously noticed the celebrations of our anniversary in Feb, and Terry's bday in July, and then came to December and of course remembered that the 10th would be the first anniversary of Terry's passing away.

Thoughts started flowing through my mind and I wondered if I should write anything on the calendar to mark that date or just leave it.  I know I won't forget it, but do I really want to remember or celebrate it?   I had an interesting feeling that I did want to remember it, for in one way it truly is the day that we had been praying for.  

It didn't come in a way we had hoped, but it did come.  Terry has been given that new life - one that is free from suffering and pain.  His cancer is gone ..., and that is what we had prayed for.

I don't know if I will celebrate the day, but I will celebrate the life ..., his life and his life with me and with our children/including their spouses and grandchildren.

I miss him, but I'm sure it will be a good year for him ..., maybe his best ever, at least concerning health issues.   We will see how I feel come December 10th and how we treat that day, but for now I am trying to count my blessings and be grateful for the joys of life that do still exist (though they are harder to enjoy without my husband at my side ....  just sayin'!).

I'm keeping busy and trying to make this new life of mine something that will be better and better as time goes on.  One thing that is ever present is the fact that I love Terry and miss him, but also ever present is the fact that the Savior is with me and helping me through it all.  I am so amazed at the almost tangent feeling that is present in my heart and mind and soul, lifting me and helping me through every part of my days and night.  I am grateful for His love for me and I know He is aware of my every need and will help me and my family through anything else that comes our way.  I also want to add that I know that Terry loves me and that he is just as anxious to be at my side as I am to be with him.

At this time in my life I know more than ever that I must trust in the Lord with all my heart because I do not know how to do it on my own.  In reality, I guess I do know that I cannot do it on my own.

Proverbs 3: 5

• Old Testament

5¶ Trust in the Lord with all thine heart ; and lean not unto thine own understanding . 

It is not possible for me to remain strong and true and steadfast on my own - it is faith in Jesus Christ and trusting Him that has helped me through every trial and disappointment and frustration in my life, and it is that same (but hopefully stronger) faith in Jesus Christ that will help me through this challenge in my life.

I was reading a message given by Ardeth G. Kapp in 2004, titled Pray Not for Light Burdens but for Strong Backs where I found this quote that seemed to speak to me today.  Sister Kapp said;

The writings of Orson F. Whitney help us understand the need for adversity:

No pain that we suffer, no trial that we experience is wasted. It ministers to our education, to the development of such qualities as patience, faith, fortitude and humility. All that we suffer and all that we endure, especially when we endure it patiently, builds up our characters, purifies our hearts, expands our souls, and makes us more tender and charitable, more worthy to be called the children of God. . . . And it is through sorrow and suffering, toil and tribulation, that we gain the education that we came here to acquire and which will make us more like our Father and Mother in heaven. [Quoted in Spencer W. Kimball, Tragedy or Destiny,Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year (6 December 1955), 6]

This is true.  Imagine what we would be if we did not strive with all our might and strength and put our faith and trust in the Lord.  It isn't hard to see what we must do.

In that same message by Sister Kapp, she testified of something that I too can testify of.  Using her words, but adding my witness ...,

I can testify from my own experience in life, that some of our heaviest burdens, disappointments, and heartaches can in time be replaced with “the peace of God, which passeth all understanding” (Phillipians 4:7) while “we wait upon the Lord” (Isaiah 40:31).

I have re-read (many times) the talk I gave at Stake Conference in 2009 I titled Thank You for Waiting.   More than ever before I am grateful for that opportunity to speak on that subject because returning often to that message has helped me remember to wait patiently on the Lord, and that waiting implies something more than just sitting around waiting for something to just happen.

“to wait = to remain true to Him, to remain strongly attached while staying put or still until something expected happens.”


I do expect something to happen.  Among those things that I expect are these -
I expect the Lord to fill my heart with joy and love and help me through the rest of my life without my husband at my side in his mortal form.
I expect to find joy and love with my family and friends while still on earth in our mortal form.
I expect to live my life so that I can return to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ and to see and live with my husband forever after this mortal life, in greater joy and happiness than I have ever or will ever know on this mortal journey.
I expect the Lord to lift my soul, and even my physical body at times when I am not strong enough to carry on in my own strength.
I expect the Lord to help each member of my family with each individual need and righteous desire that is theirs, and mine for them.

I expect these things and more, because I know that the Lord has promised them to me if I do my part, and I promise to do my part so that I may partake of those promised blessings.  I know He loves me, and that is enough to help me continue on.  I know I am not perfect, which means that I will falter, but I know that He will help me do my part. Isn't that wonderful?  IT IS WONDERFUL TO ME! 

We are never really alone when we invite the Lord into our lives.


---


I just finished this post, stopping right above those three little lines just above this sentence, when I learned of some heart breaking news that took me from this post and into a deep concern that I could not stand or bear on my own.  It took me to my knees and I spoke out loud to the Lord about it through a raging storm of emotion and tears.  It has been several days since I have felt that low and it is a place I don't like to be.  However, I truly can testify that no matter how low we are, no matter how challenging the hardship or trial, our Savior IS here.

This trial is not over by any means.  This part of it is just beginning, but I will rely on the Lord and He will help me.  With His help we will come out of this stronger and better for it!


I don't know why I felt I should write this, maybe just to remind myself or to give myself strength to carry on.  Sometimes speaking out loud and writing our thoughts helps us overcome and gives us courage and strength that we need.  Maybe that is why I'm sharing it.  Maybe it is to remind me (and anyone else who might need to remember) that hard things do happen to us and can and will at any given moment, but we can prevail.  Maybe I share it because it's good to share the "bad" that happens so that others don't always think that life is easy because we always share only the "good".  Life is so ... real!

I wondered if I should just click on publish without this addition, but do feel the need to add it, so I'm following through.   However, I hope it doesn't affect anyone adversely nor send extra concern toward me.  I do not need extra attention ..., honestly, I am fine!   I FEEL MY SAVIORS LOVE!


I have enjoyed this quote for years now and love to look at the different images associated with it.  Life is Good.   (I used some of these fun images in an earlier  post I titled Did You Know.  I wonder why I haven't a pinterest board dedicated to these images?  Hmmm!  Thinking ....  I do now!)

image from here

Here is a little more about a good life -

image from here

I'm in a mood I guess, and just can't stop ..., so here is a saying I found and posted a year ago (here) -

image here

Life is good when we know where to turn.  And I do know where to turn.

Now one more scripture I feel like adding:

3 Nephi 9:14

14 Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me.  

So now I'm going to get up and keep going ...
because I must and I can ...
I feel rejuvenated ..., maybe that is why I finished this post ..., it's my pep talk ..., to myself.

Oh Bother! I have started a PROJECT that doesn't end ...

I have spent the week cleaning and organizing and rearranging and moving things from one room to another.  As I look around I see that the house is even more cluttered and in need of attention.  Too many things are in limbo waiting for the proper place to put them, and every room is stuffed with stuff that needs moved.  I started one of those projects that has a domino effect and it's going to be a long process.

Good news:
My Christmas decor (including the trees) is all taken down and put away.
All of my holiday decor is now stored away - everything tight and comfy in it's new spot.

Bad news:
I miss the lights.

So,
Good news:
I moved the lamp Terry made in high school into the entrance hall - I leave the light on to replace the light from the trees.  I like it!  I haven't decorated that room yet, (and I need to dust that lamp) but at least the lamp is there ..., and on - spreading light through my life, day and night.

Putting the Christmas decor away allowed me to put things back in the family room.  That took me a long time but I really enjoyed filling my shelves with those precious things - things of no monetary value, but things that are close to my heart and bring back memories of people and places and love - memories of life.   I'm preserving memories with those precious things.

Elaine's precious things on the left, Terry's precious things on the right.

Everything in these shelves has a story, a reason for being precious to me - each item is part of life before and after I met Terry.  I am so grateful for my life and those people, places, and things that have filled it to this point.  I will continue to try and make the best of the rest of my life.

I'm off to keep cleaning and organizing!  Spring cleaning a bit early this year and it looks like it's going to take me several months, through Summer and Fall.   It's exhausting, but it is also rewarding.   I haven't done this deep of cleaning throughout the house in a long time.   Looking forward to good things ahead.

How We Began

I woke this morning with thoughts of Terry on my mind.  This is not new, but I was definitely thinking about when we met and that I should write and share this series of events.  So here is the beginning of our story.

We met on a Saturday night, June 9^th 1979, in Othello at a Young Adult Dance (young adult is beyond HS graduation, before and after missions a few years, one might say college age and unmarried). 

Terry asked me to dance …, we did, and then we visited for a few minutes.  Having just had an experience that made me want to distance myself from any boy, I was not interested and didn’t notice anything that would tell me that I should get to know this person better. 

The next night was a Stake Young Adult fireside in Othello (Stake is several wards together – I don’t know if there were maybe 6-7 at the time).   The meeting had just gotten over and I was sitting in the back area of the chapel.  Several people had left the chapel, but a few were standing up toward the front of the room visiting with each other.

I stood up to walk out and noticed this group of young adults.  I could only see the backs of the two or three boys, and could tell there were a couple girls in front of them, but couldn’t see who those boys were.  What I did see was a tall, slender, dark haired young man in a beautiful blue suit.   I did not know who he was, nor that he was the young man that I had met the previous night, but I did have the words “That is the man I’m going to marry” go through my heart and mind.

   

Wow!  Really?  How was I going to tell him that?  How would he know?  

I walked out of the chapel and was visiting with a friend at the refreshment area when this handsome boy in that beautiful blue suit was standing beside me asking me to go with him to the next Young Adult activity.   Well, maybe the Lord told him about me too!  

This was when I saw his face for the first time.  Oh, we met the night before, but I wasn’t looking and didn’t really see him, but tonight was different.  He was so handsome and I loved his smile and I was so anxious for our next meeting.  We didn’t really visit long this night, but my heart was attached already.

June 15^th was the next activity he had invited me to, in Kennewick, and he came and picked me up.  I remember that another couple went with us.  I also remember that I took hold of Terry’s hand and didn’t want to let it go and we sat close together, never wanting to be separated.  Just a note: As a mother now I know that I would be so worried if my daughter had done what I did.  I would try to "knock some sense into her"  – “but you just met him”, “you’ve got to get to know him and go out with him several times before you get so close” and more of that type of concern.  But you see, I had been told that he would be my husband, so why not make the move to try to keep him around?   I already knew how important he was to me, so I held his hand and sat real close and didn’t let him out of my sight.  So much for distancing myself!  It was the beginning of a beautiful relationship.

I believe he must have known something too, because he held my hand with a tender touch, he made me feel special, and he kept asking me out.  Our notes/calendar show that we had 3 dates in June (and he was in the hospital for a few days with pneumonia which shortened our number of days to go on dates that month), 6 in July,  and it just kept getting better and better.  I loved seeing him and being with him, and I loved hearing his voice on the phone, always hating to say good-bye.  Even after we were married I loved hearing him on the phone though it didn’t happen very often until cell phones were introduced years later.

We enjoyed being together as often as we could, we met each other’s families and we made each other happy.  Terry never really asked me to marry him in the traditional way, but there seemed to be no doubt that we were going to get married.  Once he asked if we should get our names put on "one of those pretty little cards and envelopes" after he told me of an announcement he received from a missionary companion that was getting married.  He told me to "think about it".  

One night after a movie he asked, “What would you say if I asked you to marry me?”  My first thought was of course I’d say yes, but how was I going to come up with a clever way to respond, then he quickly finished up with, "well, just wait till I ask you!"  We laughed about that often.

Well, he never did really ask again, but one night at my house he asked me if I would like to go with him to Spokane to pick out a wedding ring.   Of course I agreed to that and we did - December 8th.

the rings

I continue to wear that ring with love, and now I also wear Terry's ring on my finger beside my ring, closest to my heart.  We set our wedding date for February 12^th 1980 and life was good.

Terry and Elaine - engagement photo

I had found the man of my dreams and I was happier than I knew one could be. We were married for time and eternity in the Idaho Falls LDS Temple.  

12 February 1980, after wedding (didn't know the picture was being taken).
This is the beautiful blue suit I loved, but I love the man in it most!

After the ceremony I remained in my wedding dress and Terry in his suit, and we walked across the temple grounds to the hospital where his maternal grandparents were.  His grandpa was not well and was there, with his wife beside him.  

at the hospital after our wedding, with Terry's grandparents

I met these wonderful people for the first time, not realizing that it was also the last time we would see his grandfather.  Many were amazed to see someone in a wedding dress in the hospital, but it was an exciting and wonderful experience to share with those I love.  I have treasured that experience and held it close to my heart ever since. 

We left that Tuesday, from Idaho Falls and traveled to Anaheim for our honeymoon at Disney Land.  

one man cut these as he looked at us, no sketch first

We didn’t spend a lot of money, but we spent a lot of time and enjoyed being together. We were off to a great start.

souvenirs - Lady and Tramp

We had a reception to be home to on the 22^nd of February but we took our time and enjoyed our new life together, getting home the following Wednesday evening, the 20^th, where we learned that both sets of parents were very worried that we were not home a few days earlier.   I guess they thought we might take a four or five day honeymoon, but we had taken 9 days – and it was a most enjoyable time with no worries whatsoever.   I highly recommend it!  J

Ronald & Gelene Rodeback, Elaine & Terry Hebdon, Idris & Keith Hebdon

We had a unique relationship from the very beginning and we hated being apart.  Words just cannot describe how much I love this man.

Terry and Elaine 1981 - don't try to separate us!  

We have always remained close and he has always been my best friend.  We set up home beside his parents' home in a double-wide trailer he purchased from a neighbor.  It became our favorite place to be ..., HOME ..., because we were together.

Our first house

 I know this is a long post already, but I want to add one more thing.  This is something Terry wrote years ago - (Something he penned as he thought it and never went back to correct grammar or punctuation.  In its original state there are lines crossed out as he traded them for new words.)

"On a blessed Sunday evening not so very long ago, I first saw a girl I just had to get to know.

She was tall and looked so fair, nice, a pleasant site to see.  But then I had a problem! Could I get her to notice me?

Well time went on - not many days, when again my eyes met her gaze.  It was at a dance at which I met her.  The music played, my heart did purr.  

I was most content with myself that I hid behind a shelf and gave the drinks as kids came by.  Wetting a thirst as it was dry.

She came my way, what should I do.  Somehow I said may I dance with you.

She somehow was special to my mind.  Full of tenderness and very kind.

So after that it was my ambition that I might start a new tradition. Of her and me or us together that we twain would become better.

Now names with me aren't the best so I put my mind to test.  How can I remember her name divine? Well, I'll just ask a friend of mine.

He had it there on paper yellow.  May God bless this good fellow.

I read it then and it was fixed in my heart and on my lips.  

But now the task to see if she would consent to go with me.  

There was an event in Kennewick and"

That is where it stopped.  But we know that the story continues - and it's a good one.  I'll share parts of it as I feel prompted to as we continue on this journey through life.   

This writing is proof that Terry did feel something special for me and just like I wondered how I would let him know how I felt about him, he too wondered how he would let me know how he felt about me.  

A good friend of my dad's loved to tease me and asked me a few times if I would consider choosing his son instead of Terry.  I would always tell him that I was sure I had made the right choice and had no intention of changing my mind.

Terry and I were meant to be together! I am so grateful for every little event that took place in our lives, from the very beginning, that made it possible.  I am grateful for everyone that helped us each to become who we were (and are) and for our Savior and Father in Heaven and Their role in our lives.  

FYI - Funeral Additions

We had been hoping to get a family photo with all of us together and we just couldn't make it happen in time for Terry to be with us, but here we are on the day of his funeral, and I was happy to have all of our children and grandchildren together there.  Surely one can look at any of our sons and find their dad in them somewhere.  In many ways Terry lives on, but we still miss him.

I am so grateful for eternal life and the plan of happiness.  

I want it!  I need it!  I'm looking forward to it!

I am so grateful for the Savior and our Heavenly Father and for the many blessings They send my way.  They sustain me throughout the days and nights.  They make things alright.

  

I love our eternal family! 

Michael's poem was added to the blog here

The life sketch Thomas gave was added here

MORE than just a PENNY

Just sharing my special couple minutes of my day with you and hoping that you too found a reason to smile today.


I found a penny today as I was cleaning the medical supplies out of the office cupboards.  It made me smile.  I know where it came from and it was a happy moment for me.

When we first started using the home infusion pump at SCCA in 2010 they suggested we use a penny to twist the parts together.  This penny was surely in that box of supplies for the last few years.

This penny was not worth much in the way of monetary value, but it did have more value than what the eye could see.  It was very valuable when considering what the heart felt.

This penny and the smile it brought me reminded me of this little poem I found last fall and pinned for a rainy day. It was a sunshiny day today, but I thought I'd share it anyway.  I love it!