I’m Fine, By Terry,

Having cancer is like the throwing of a rock into a peaceful pool. In many instances it can be very unsettling and disruptive. Many times the cherished peace no longer remains.

There are times though that the scene can be a thing of beauty. Perhaps the rocking of the gentle waves can set a floating leaf to dance, lively and delighted and made happy by the new found energy.

To the observer the ripples may extend clear to the ponds edge where they may seem to be an harassment to a slumbering frog, seeming to be a never ending teasing at which he wants to smile but never even blinks. Is he pleased by this? It’s hard to say. He stays.

In other ways this cancer rock penetrating the calm becomes a nuisance, as to the fish who lurked below just ready to dine on a mosquito now no longer visible nor available for his favorite lunch. If that rock had not entered the water things could be different.

For many the hope is that the rock will settle on the ponds floor, being seized upon by the mud and debris and for ever there remain. Probably for all who have cancer this is the wish. Out of sight but never out of mind we wish for it’s demise in obscurity.

In an odd way though, many of us as owners, are grateful for this rock. For though the disruptions and loss of calm, we become enlivened by the goodness of the constant ripple of kindness that seems to never end. We have loved ones and care givers and other good people whom we never expected to ever know who have brought hope and help and faith and prayer and a positive attitude. We have doctors and nurses who never blink, who keep their eyes fixed upon the goal of making us well. There are many through unseen efforts who are working to ensure that the rock remains submersed. If my rock should ever resurface I hope it won’t recognize me.

Sadly for many the splash is only the beginning and the rock is seemingly on a string, and those who know this fate awkwardly keep having it return to them. We all wish this not to be the case. But good can come from bad and happiness from sad strength from difficulty and experience from all. So we seem to need to just make the best of it and trust in God.

We know that He who created all nature is the cure. That He can fix our bodies. That He can fix our spirits. That He knows us. That He loves us and that we will be alright, and that it will turn out better than we think. I’m fine!