This Morning's Reading

My thoughts were rolling  as we read during our family scripture and prayer this morning.  I spent some personal time afterward reading the footnotes and doing some more study and pondering on the subject.  I love the scriptures.  They are the word of God.  As I was studying I felt the desire to post my thoughts, so here is my attempt to do so.

One must remember that there is so much more in my mind and heart than what I can say in writing, so much of what I felt can not be expressed as clearly as how I felt them, but I put it in writing to remind me at some future time in my life when I might need it most.   I hope to remember the peace and comfort that accompanied my reading and that accompanies my every moment in life.  I do know that others read my blog and I hope that everyone who reads my writings might find them somehow uplifting to their souls.  I wish to testify of the love and peace I feel from Christ, our Friend and Savior.  I am so grateful for the blessings that come from knowing Him, and from learning of and living His Gospel.

from here

I don't mean to compare myself or Terry to the Savior, but only to compare this sentence in Mosiah 15:7 

"... the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father."

For months, even years, we have been praying much like Christ did; 

"Saying, Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless, not my will, but thine, be done."  Luke 22:42   

Again, I wish to clarify that I do not compare to Christ, but only to the words in that sentence.   We prayed, over and over again, that Terry's illness be removed from him, truly believing that it could and would be, but always trying to accept the Father's will.   

I have accepted the will of the Father many times in my life previous to now, but none seem so difficult as accepting the will of the Father in taking my husband from me for the rest of my life on earth.   I truly do feel swallowed up in it, and I am so grateful to know that it is the Father's will.  Our Heavenly Father has taken Terry, leaving me alone (alone, in this case, means without my husband on earth) but He has not left me without comfort ..., I know I am not completely alone, and I haven't enough words to express how grateful I truly feel for that comfort.   

After Christ spoke those words, asking for the Father's will to be done, we read that 

"there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him." Luke 22:43

No angel has appeared to me, but I have felt a strength from heaven.

Verse 44 continues, 

"And being in agony he prayed more earnestly."

This was interesting to me because I have felt in agony many times.  I know that Christ's pain was much more and different than mine, but I have felt emotional agony.  I worry about being out in public when one of those moments might hit.   Each time I feel that emotional agony I pray more earnestly and I feel that strength from heaven, from our Father, lifting me and helping me, and once again I am reminded that He knows me, He loves me, and I will be alright.



I don't know how to envision it, but I do know, in my mind and in my heart, that I will see Terry again and we will live together again, for eternity.  How joyous that is!  

Each time I begin to falter I try to remember the promise of eternal life and the path I must take to get there.  I remember that I can not feel complete peace during a time of complete loss of emotional control.  I must stand strong and move forward, every step being guided and even physically lifted as if someone were walking at my side steadying my way and giving me strength to take the next step. This does not mean that I never falter, it means that I know where to turn when I do. 

image from google search

"Heaven's Light is always just a prayer away!"

Among other places, we read about Christ's grand purpose in coming to earth in John 6:38 - 

"For I came down from heaven, not to do mine own will, but the will of him that sent me."  

Consider our purpose for coming to earth.  Is it not to do the will of our Father?  In a much lesser role, but still to do His will, accept His will, obey His will.  His will be done! 

And we, ourselves, want to do this - we want to do the will of the Father, because 

"...every one which seeth the Son, and believeth on him, may have everlasting life..."  John 6:40

I do want everlasting life, so I will strive daily to 

"learn of [Him], and listen to [His] words; walk in the meekness of [His] Spirit, and [I] shall have peace in [Him]."  D&C 19:23

and I shall have everlasting life, with my eternal companion ...,
and it will be worth it!

"While there may be thorns and disappointments, while there may be heartache, even heartbreak, there can be peace and comfort and strength from the Lord for those who follow Him."  

- Gordon B. Hinckley

My faith and my strength is in my Savior!  

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