What next?

Have you seen The Truman Show? This story, as I remember it, is about a man who grew up in a controlled environment, an artificial world where others told him what to do, directed his every move, and did all they could to keep the outside or real world from him. Through the years his life was televised for the real world to see, and he was unaware of this big "set" he lived in. Eventually he learned that there could be more to the world than where he was, and at the end of the movie he finds and opens a door to the real world. I was so happy that he finally knew what was going on and that he had the common sense and courage to escape this awful scene. Yet at that moment I wondered, "What next? How will he survive in an unfamiliar way of life? Where will he go and who will help him? This really was the only way of life he knew and he needed someone to help him. Would his friend find him in time?"

This movie shocked me, and it quickly became one of my least favorite movies as it left me with such an awful feeling. I let these feelings consume me for days, and I'm sure I had nightmares many nights after watching it. Eventually I let go of my dislike and forgot the movie.

But, it has resurfaced. Just yesterday I woke up with this movie on my mind and that feeling of being trapped in a world with little control of what happens to you each day. I wondered what brought that to mind again after letting go of it for so long.

I wonder if it was the fear or anxiety of what was taking place in my life. As I thought about it I realized that there are some similarities. We are going to be in a world, so to speak, where our every move will be directed by others and we will not be allowed to leave it for a time. There are a lot of unknowns, and a lot of limitations. Our lives will not really be our own because of the strictly written rules we will have to follow and even the scenes will be created in the different acts while we are there. Our environment will be very controlled, and not much will seem familiar. We will be keeping a portion of our lives available for all to see. Not televised, but online blogging can be quite open to the public. Then one day, the directors will tell us we can step out of that world and enter back into the real world. What then? We hope it is better than we left it, but we are aware of the complications that can arise.

There are some big differences between the Truman Show and our show. We are aware of the two worlds and we are volunteering for the chance to live in this different world for a time, even though we know there will be some strange and difficult times within it.

I remember how my older kids that watched this movie with us, thought I was silly for letting it affect me so, but it was just so wrong and even evil. Even with these feelings resurfacing, I know that this opportunity for us is not wrong. It is more right than ever before. We are anxious to step into this new world and then one day step back out of it, hopefully feeling better than when we left it. At some point and time it will turn out better than we think.

Maybe we are living in an artificial world right now. That artificial world being the one where cancer lives too. Either way, we will be returning to the real world thru this re-birthing event called transplant.

Let me be clear on one thing before I end - I do not recommend The Truman Show for anyone to see. I do, however, invite those who are interested to stay tuned to our show or blog, for future scenes of our world as we live it. It may not be the best entertainment, but it will be informative.

The star of our show will be the Lord. He will also be the director. He is the writer and producer. He is The Way, The Truth, and The Life! He is the one we look to for peace. He will be here daily to guide us and comfort us, of that I am sure. We hope that you will see Him too.