FYI (WARNING - it may take a lot of your time to read this!)

I'm learning that blogging can actually be a great "sounding board". I guess I need to post this mostly for me, and I offer it to those who may wish to read it. I know it is lengthy, but I don't feel too bad about it since it is a choice the reader can make.

We have been preparing for a visit to the Fred Hutchinson Cancer Research Center/Seattle Cancer Care Alliance for, well, actually several years now, but we do finally have a consultation appointment set up for next week. We are hoping it will be the information we need to help us understand a little more of what is going to take place, and when it will take place. It is a step in what we consider to be the right direction.
The Hutch or SCCA sent us some information this week and I have read thru it several times, trying to make sure I haven't missed anything, and trying to remember anything that might be helpful to us in the future.

They group the transplant procedure into 7 steps, and they are:
1 Planning ahead -
"The beginning of a long journey", except it seems that it really started over 6 years ago for us. We are barely into this step, but after the consultation we should be able to work thru this step a bit more effectively.
2 Preparation -
Almost sounds like a "hurry up and wait" game, with exams, numerous labs, tests, etc., and then waiting for the results and deciding the correct procedures and treatment.
3 Conditioning -
Sounds to me like it could be one of the hardest steps, depending upon the side effects. It includes high-dose chemotherapy, higher than what has been given before.
4 Transplant -
Bed rest, can read, watch TV, visit, etc. He may experience some side effects, but it's uncommon and mild if they do occur.
5 Waiting for Engraftment -
Expect signs that new bone marrow or stem cells are growing or engrafting, 10 to 28 days after the transplant. He stays put, we wait, we watch, we keep a daily record, he is monitored closely to detect and treat early signs of complications.
6 Recovery After Engraftment -
"Support your recovery and manage any complications". Possible "Graft Versus Host Disease" which can occur shortly after the transplant and even up to about 18 months after.
7 Long-Term Recovery -
GVHD is listed in this step too. Return home and continue recovery. May take up to a year for immune system to become normal.

It has been interesting to see how my emotions have surfaced as I have been reading this info. I have not yet lost control, but surely I will feel completely overwhelmed by the 2nd and 3rd step.
- I marvel at the knowledge these doctors have and the treatments available to help prolong life and even possibly cure terrible diseases of which it seems we personally have no control over.
- I worry about the discomfort and pain that Terry will be subjected to, yet I know he has gone thru so much already and, I know he is strong.
- I worry about my ability to learn all that I need to know, and doing all that is required of me as his caregiver for those (approximately) 3 months at the Hutch/SCCA. I am glad to learn that they offer classes to the caregivers and I do hope to understand and remember all that I am taught. I don't want anything to go wrong because of something I did or did not do or understand.
- I am, and will be eternally grateful to Terry's siblings who so willingly accepted the request for donor testing, and that one has been found as a perfect match. I am equally thankful for our children and friends that volunteered. Dennis is the match and, though I am unsure of exactly what is required of him, I do know that it will cause some difficulty as he will have to miss several days of work to selflessly give of himself to help his brother recover.
- I am ever-so-grateful for the peace that comes from our Savior as we embark on this journey. I know that our Heavenly Father loves us and is aware of our individual needs, and that He does hear our prayers and answers them in a way that is best for us, though maybe not always the way we want them. Sometimes it would be nice if we could just wiggle our nose and our trial would disappear as if it never happened, but we sure wouldn't learn much would we!?!?!?!?
- Terry has been looking forward to this with great anticipation and with a hope of being cured. I too, look forward to it, but have worried about it, especially because of a conversation I had with a patient who went thru a transplant being left with the disease and worried about her future and her husband and small children being left without a wife and mother. She spoke of her experience as like going thru hell and back with nothing to show for it; left with a not so promising future ahead. I met this young mother during one of Terry's earlier treatments and I do not know what kind of cancer or treatment she had. It was probably a different kind than Terry's, but it still leaves me with concern. Having shared that, I must also say that I do believe it is the right thing for us to do, and I pray that all will go well. I wish I knew what ever happened with this young mother and her family. Certainly God is taking care of them wherever they are. Hopefully they are looking to Him for comfort and guidance - He freely gives it to those who ask and strive to come unto Him.
- I am pleased to know that we will all be taken care of at a top notch facility. They are "ranked 1st in outcomes", 1/3 of their patients permanently cured, have 80% survival rates, they pioneered the bone marrow transplant treatment over 40 years ago, they are the most experienced transplant center in the world. They also care about their patients, including their caregivers and family members, offering many programs and conveniences, and trying to make it a home away from home for them. Learning about their facility almost makes me anxious to be there ... almost!
- Though I have learned a lot, I recognize that I still know sooooo little. I guess I'm afraid of what I don't know. (As I wrote this I could almost hear Terry snickering in the background. I tell him that I am not afraid of the dark, just what I cannot see in the dark. He thinks I'm funny that way. I suppose he is right. But it's true - the dark doesn't scare me, it's the unseen things that could be out there in the dark that concern me. It's the same with this upcoming event in our lives. And yet this transplant has nothing to do with being in the dark. I expect the Light of Christ to be with us throughout the whole thing.)

I guess I'll close on that note!
I'll update with any new info after our consultation.
As Paul Harvey would say -
Good Day!