Christ-like Characteristics

This is the talk given by Gregory at Terry's funeral (of course things may have been said slightly different when he actually gave it, but these were his thoughts when he wrote it) -

Life - What is its purpose?  Are we a coincidental evolution following a strange growth in a scum pond or a reaction from a serendipitous cosmic collision?

In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints we are taught, following a Christian tradition, that we existed as spirits before our mortal birth.  We come to earth in a probationary state.  We are given commandments and agency.  Our decisions to follow commandments bring us blessings, and our rebellions cause negative consequences and heartache.

It is our duty to try to become better people, and earn a place in Heaven with a loving God.

How are we supposed to learn these things?  How can we grow?  God gave us tools.  We have scriptures, prophets, a conscience or the Holy Ghost, a Savior who provided a perfect example for us, and one other gift.  God gave us fathers.  It is one thing to read about a person, and another to live with and interact with someone; to be able to watch them as you grow up.

We on the Royal Slope, and especially Terry and Elaine’s children have had a wonderful example to look to and strive to emulate.  He provided a great example-though not perfect as our Savior’s.  I don’t want to sound blasphemous-but an example of how a mortal man can work to become more like Christ.  After all, my Dad is my Hero.  In the LDS church we call these characteristics Christ-like attributes. 

The manual called Preach My Gospel has a list of Christ-like attributes.  I would like to put a twist on them, add some others, and submit to you my version of Dad-like attributes.

The manual starts off with the ever important trait of faith in Jesus Christ.  The poem written by Dad included on the bulletin shows that he absolutely did have faith in our Savior.

Next is hope.  Dad never gave in to despair as he digressed in his fight against cancer.  He kept a good attitude when things looked so bleak.  He hoped for a positive outcome in this life, and if he couldn't get that, then a better state in the world beyond.

Then we find charity and love.  I think of a winter when a family on the slope lost their home to a fire, and Dad gathered us to explain that he wanted our consent to fore-go some Christmas gifts and donate some money to this family after their great loss.  We didn't have much but we had enough to help someone in need.  Dad also had a tender way of lifting up the homeless on the streets, sometimes with food or money, and if that wasn't available he would offer a friendly conversation to cheer someone up.  He also made many visits to friends and neighbors in times of sorrow or need.  And now in our time of sorrow we have had many people reciprocate that demonstration of love and compassion, and we thank you all for that.

Virtue follows; and when I think of Dad I think of Honor.  He didn't have a church self and a farm self and a different personality for different situations.  What you saw was who he was.  If he said he would do something, he would do it.  I would liken it to dignity, which was very important to Dad. 

Next is knowledge.  Many of you might not know this but Dad used to read the dictionary.  He would read papers, books, magazines, anything to increase his knowledge.  In school he had near perfect attendance.  Mom has some report cards showing that Dad missed one day of school in four years.  He also urged us to continue our education beyond high school, and made it a priority of his to help us get through it financially as he was not able to do on his own, due to his duties here.  Much of his knowledge and mental capacity is showcased in his poems over the years, always written for the benefit of others and not for his own gain.

Now in the spirit of honesty, I will not gloss over the next attribute.  When Dad asked me to speak at his funeral he told me to tell the truth.  Patience is possibly the one that gave him the most trouble.  Especially in the eyes of our family it seemed like he had more patience with others than with us.  But I don’t hold a grudge about it.  I am glad for what it taught me.  Dad always expected a lot out of us, but only because he knew our potential and wanted us to stretch and reach it.  He would not settle for a part time attitude or less than our best.  Now, continuing with truth, he gained much more patience as he dealt with his trial of cancer.  Anger pretty much vanished. 

That leads to humility.  Dad had an often quiet strength.  He never aspired to positions of high rank or recognition.  He felt that he was not good enough to have them, while many others would have gladly recommended him.  He esteemed himself much lower than the high regard that the rest of us hold for him.  He was also mistreated occasionally in deals with business associates and others which hurt him both financially and emotionally, but he remained polite to them and did not hold a grudge with anyone, no matter what had happened.

Dad was diligent.  He would not give up no matter the difficulty of the task, and rarely complained.

Obedience follows. . . Do you see what I did there?  Dad always enjoyed a pun.  He accepted every assignment given to him at church, even when he didn't feel like he was prepared, or the best one for the job, or even when it put him in danger.  He was asked to be the early morning seminary teacher, and it caused a great deal of strain on his body, but he didn't worry about his health.  He focused on obeying, and helping those youth.  And more than a couple of those kids will tell you that he left a lasting impression in their lives for the better.

Dad always showed a willingness to serve others.  From helping people move, to plowing snow, to many other things, he wanted to help others when he could, and looked for opportunities.  When he was young he was often found pushing the wheel chair for his friend Cruz.  He wanted to help, and didn't want Cruz to miss out.  He was very considerate of the needs of others.  That was another thing that he tried to instill in us.  He tried to help us learn to think of how our choices affected others and act accordingly.  He often asked us to spell considerate, and define it for him so that it would be ingrained in our minds.

He had a positive attitude.  He found joy in life, even small things like stacking the last load of hay for the cutting.  He had a sense of humor.  He enjoyed sharing a chuckle with someone or giving them a reason to smile.  He didn't share the loud jokes like, “a rabbi, a cardinal and a Mormon bishop walk into a bar,” type, but a clever response or a play on words.  He liked to make people happy.

Now, for me, comes the crowning piece, the traits that I think he most fully embodied.  Dad believed in industry, and provident living.  He was not afraid of hard work, but actually enjoyed it.  He lived frugally, not wasting any money on his own desires but spent all of his energy providing for his family.  I do not know of a time that our needs were not met.  Even if it meant that he slept for only two hours a night, and ate only one meal a day, he made sure that we were fed and healthy.  We know him lovingly as “Terry Tough.”  He attacked any weakness in himself like a lion.  He saved tenaciously and prepared for the future.  And now as he has lost his ability to work and earn more money to support his family, his preparation will continue to provide for his wife and family.

And so I say as the prophet Nephi said in the Book of Mormon, “I, Gregory, having been born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of my father . . . having had a great knowledge of the goodness and mysteries of God.”  He taught us in words, but more importantly he taught us by his actions.

The morning after Dad passed away Thomas and I expressed our sorrow that our kids, his grandchildren, wouldn't have their grandpa around as they grew up.  All that they would miss from not interacting with this great man tore us apart.

I submit to all today that it is our duty to carry on that legacy.  We who are his sons, as well as all others who admire him are asked to strive to develop those attributes that we have respected and admired.

Elder M. Russell Ballard said that a “father sees in a son a promising future and a better, improved version of himself.”  I don’t feel like I will ever reach the standard he set, but I recommit today, to step up and do my best to fill those shoes as much as I can.  And I think that is all Dad and our Heavenly Father, the two now being together, would want from any of us:  Our Best.